Kyla Question #7

 

Joshua,

I'm in the very beginning stages of a project that has the potential to catapult me into the public eye. Whether that actually comes as a result of this project, or something else, I am filled with the knowing that I'm going to become a public figure. And with that knowing, comes a bit of dread.

It's something I've known deep down since I was a kid, but I kept it buried for a long time, until recently. Now, it's cropping up again, and it feels absolutely inevitable. What's confusing to me is that being in the public eye doesn't at all feel like a desire...more like an integral part of my path. So does that mean it's a byproduct of some other desire?

I feel a lot of resistance around this. It's clear to me that the manifestation event I wrote about in the last couple questions happened to prepare me for what's to come, and I have been feeling the positive effects of my realization regarding my being worthy of attention. But, like I said, there's still the feeling of dread when I think of being "famous" or even "well-known".

Here are some potential limiting beliefs I've identified:

1. "No one will take me seriously."
2. "I don't have enough life experience."
3. "I'm not ready."
4. "I am unable to live up to the expectations of myself and others."

I understand that the reason I feel negative emotion is because those beliefs are not at all in alignment with how my inner self sees me. I've been attempting to find evidence, but much like the belief that I am unworthy of attention, it would seem a few of these are deeply held. Here's the best I've come up with so far:

1. When I attended the midwives' open house and discussed my views on postpartum care, I was received and treated like an equal. They took me seriously. Also, on my first call with Jeannette, she raved about my writing skills and asked if I was aware of my talent. She took me seriously. When my photos were displayed and sold at the preschool auction, all the parents loved them. One woman said to me, "Kyla, I didn't know you were a photographer!" When I replied that I wasn't, that it was just a hobby, she pointed at them and said "Look at those. You are a photographer." She took me seriously (more seriously that I took myself lol).

2. One bit of evidence that experience isn't always a necessary ingredient to success is my current job. I had very little experience with newborn photography, but I was hired on the spot and am excellent at what I do. However...this only provides the tiniest bit of relief, as I still haven't uncovered evidence relating specifically to life experience, so clearly I need to keep analyzing this point.

3. Uh...I've got nothing. Okay that's not true. I wasn't "ready" to leave my marriage but I did it anyway because I felt in my gut it was what I had to do. That was one of my favorite decisions I've ever made (in terms of the "benefits", as I perceive them), so why does the relief from that point of evidence seem so small? I know every bit helps, but I'd love to find some evidence that feels like a giant WHOOSH of relief when it hits me. Is that asking too much?

4. This one feels really sticky for me. Limited Perspective Kyla can be pretty hard on herself. So...areas where I've lived up to, or even exceeded expectations? My mothering abilities have far surpassed my expectations...that's one area where I can acknowledge that I'm great at what I do. Yet I still felt the need when typing that last sentence to add a qualifier, like "most of the time". Aside from that, all that comes to mind at the moment are my "failures", times when I've felt that I disappointed myself or others. Since there is no wrong anywhere in the universe, meaning it's impossible to fail, I clearly have some more digging to do here.

I feel a little lighter after writing out the evidence list, but there's still a huge weight on my chest that feels like it's preventing me from moving forward. What am I missing? Do I just keep looking for more and more evidence until the weight lifts? Would love to hear any insights you have to share. Thank you!

With love,
Kyla


Dear Kyla,

When you feel dread (a very negative emotion), it is a sign that you have a limiting belief. You know this and you analyze it to find the fear at the base of it. In this case you have a fear of not being good enough which is the same as being unworthy. We will continue to express just how worthy you are until the cows come home. It's our joy to tell you over and over again just how worthy you are. You are as worthy as any who have ever or will ever live. You are absolutely, undeniably, intrinsically worthy. You are worthy.

It's just that you don't think you are... yet. You cannot be more worthy than you are right now. You can't do anything to make yourself more worthy. You can't do anything to make yourself less worthy either. Your not more worthy in some areas than others. You are worthy in all areas. If it's something you're passionate about, it is your birthright to own it. It is yours. No one can deny you any of it. If you accept the negative influence of others and you let them tell you otherwise, well that's just your decision. However, if it's something you care about, you can be at the top of it if you allow yourself to get there.

One thing you will notice when you become notable in the public eye is that no one will question how you got there. You won't have to provide any credentials. Whatever part you play in it will be enough. Your life experience has led you to it, therefore you have enough life experience. You don't need to be the expert above all because you're already at the top based on your perspective. No one else has your unique perspective and no one else could do anything the way you can. That is true of everyone.

When you are being your authentic self, full of passion and desire, full of confidence and knowing, you will contribute more to the subject than you expect. It's by being who you are that creates something extraordinary. No one else can be you. Everyone has something to give based on their unique perspective. The entire system of reality is set up this way. Only by being who you are not, out of a fear of what others might think, could you experience less than what is preferred. When you act from a solid foundation of alignment with who you authentically are, you engage the powers of the universe.

So, doubt your worthiness as long as you like. There will be a speck of relief each time you show evidence that the belief is false. You'll feel relief after reading this. You'll feel relief when no one cares how you got there, they'll only care what you have to say and how you express it. But by denying yourself your own worthiness, you limit your potential and thus you deny the entire universe your gift. You can't see how this will all unfold, so why worry? You are meant to offer your gift. So go forward in spite of your fears and you'll feel exhilaration as you conquer them.

You have more to offer than you can imagine. Keep your eyes on that and not on anything that distracts you from that.

Joshua

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