Joshua,
I'm still reading and re-reading and attempting to digest the last answer. I could use some clarification on the following section:
"The way you believe Janine sees you is how you feel about yourself...Your perception of her opinion is created by how you feel about yourself. If you feel she is right, then you agree with her perception, if you feel she is wrong, then you disagree with her perception. However, it's not her perception, it's yours."
"The idea that you created about what you think she perceives, is your own perception... However, you must realize that anything you believe is wrong, including Janine's perception of you, is your own resistance to an idea which challenges your persona."
I trust you'll understand what the questions behind my questions, because I'm not sure I can fully articulate them. I appreciate how deep you're getting with me, but my brain has been getting quite the workout over this one, so forgive me as I trip over myself in an attempt to keep up.
So...the way I believe Janine sees me is really how I feel about myself. But...if I disagree with her perception, then I am disagreeing with my own perception of myself? I'm confused here because, while I did disagree with her perception of me, I felt like I also adopted the higher perspective of being able to see how she could be right from her perspective.
Initially, I didn't think I was making her wrong, it was more of an "agree to disagree" sort of feeling, but the more I thought about it, the more I could see how maybe part of me did want to "clarify" some things "for her" (but probably really for me). I can see how there was a part of me that felt a need to, I don't know, defend or explain myself. It wasn't the majority of me, just a small part. So is that small part my persona that you're talking about?
Is the majority of me in alignment, adopting the same perspective as my Inner Self, and yet there's this smaller part of me resisting because my persona is being challenged?
I feel like a lightbulb just went on, but I'm haven't fully fleshed it out yet. Basically, I think I just understood the persona that was being challenged. The persona is the part of me that wants people to think I'm a good person, an honorable woman, honest and trustworthy and hardworking. The part of me that still cares what other people think of me and wants to be viewed in that way.
So her perception of me (which is really my perception of me) is challenging that persona, and that is a good thing, because I have a chance to confront my limiting belief that it matters what others think of me, and (maybe even more importantly, because I haven't looked very closely at this one yet) my limiting belief that these qualities I've always tried to uphold are "good" qualities while their opposites are "bad" qualities.
The part of her perception that matters here for me is that she (but actually *I*) views some things as "favorable" or "honorable" and some things as "favorable" or "dishonorable". I think I was focused in on a different aspect of the conversation, and that's where I was confused. But it makes sense to me how that is actually my feelings being reflected back to me.
So that part makes sense to me. I said that that's the part that matters for me, but I understand that all of it matters, because it's ALL happening for me. So tell me this...when I felt like I was solid in my perspective that everything I was doing was perfect and right for me...was that a fallacy? Was I kidding myself about how secure and confident I was feeling?
I don't feel like I'm making any sense at all. Now I feel like I'm out running with you. I definitely don't want you to slow down, but I'd love it if you could somehow help me catch up.
Thanks for blowing my mind once again.
With love,
Kyla
Dear Kyla,
We think you have it. First let's talk about the emotion you felt when you heard Janine's comments. You were not angry, yet you were not gleeful either. You had a mildly negative emotion, but at the same time you were proud of yourself for not feeling as bad as you might have felt previously. You were feeling mild negative emotion about what she was saying and also feeling positive emotion for your reaction to what she was saying. The perspective was one that was slightly off when your were feeling mild negative emotion and perfectly aligned when you were feeling proud of yourself. The combination of the two felt like positive emotion, but there was a part of you that still thought Janine was wrong.
Now, we must reiterate that there is no wrong. Janine could have been speaking a different language and it would not matter. She could have meant to say something completely different. She may not have really understood your question. None of that matters. What matters is your interpretation of what she was saying. You heard certain words based on your vibration. Your beliefs caused you to hear what she was saying in a manner that was different from what Gary heard, or Steve, or Michael, or anyone else who was listening to the show. The way you heard it was for you and from that you have the opportunity to grow.
So then, we are not talking about what Janine actually said (or meant to say), we are talking about your specific and unique interpretation of her words. You interpreted her to say something that was in opposition to your opinion of self. Any emotion created from the stance of defending one's own fabricated persona is not aligned with who one really is. If your negative emotion was mild, then you have it easy. Your ego is not holding onto your persona too tightly. There is not much fear there. This makes it easier for you to analyze the comments you thought you heard and then adjust your limiting beliefs about the projection of self known as the persona.
Remember, your persona is limiting and false. It is not who you really are, it is simply a glimpse of the real you. It is weighed down by its own limitations. Your work is to remove those limitations one after another. To believe that your perception of Janine's words is wrong, is to defend the persona. Believing the words to be wrong is a way to justify the validity of the persona. But the persona does not need to be validated. It is false.
Therefore, your negative interpretation of Janine's words is also false. In order to remove your limitations, you must see how Janine is right. Since there is no wrong anywhere in the universe, Janine is not wrong either. In this case we are not saying that Janine is right, we are saying that you must look at how your personal interpretation of Janine's words are right. Forget about Janine for a moment and just think of your interpretation.
So, if your perception of those words is right, how is it right? How could it be right? What is the fear that causes your ego to make them wrong? It could be that you believe that certain behaviors are good and others are bad? It could be a limiting belief that what others think matters. It could be a limiting belief that you must do good to be considered good and being considered good proves you are worthy. All of these beliefs are false and therefore they are limiting. Your path is towards limitlessness. Shatter the cycle of fear and embrace the offensive words as they are your guideposts on the path to limitlessness.
Joshua
