Kyla Question #41

 

Joshua,

I am officially on-board with this allowing thing. A couple nights ago, I experienced the most beautiful manifestation of my recent desire to have sex. I haven't been with anybody since I left my husband (and really even before that, since that part of our relationship died before the relationship itself did), but lately I've been wanting to connect with someone specifically in that way.

I was out at a bar, by myself, which is something I've been doing more and more lately. I've been meeting so many interesting people, and having so many deep, meaningful conversations that I may not have otherwise had were I out with friends. I got into a conversation with several people about careers, and bills, and (their view of) the monotony of daily life. A guy in the corner piped up, having been quiet for most of the conversation, and said "Man, just do what you love and the money will follow."

He may as well have just put a big "I'm the One" sign around his neck. I was smitten. Not that I was immediately having sex with him in my mind, or imagining him as my future husband, but I knew there was something special about him, something more for me to discover as a result of knowing him. We continued with the group conversation, and towards the end of the night, I told him during a lull that I'd like to see him again.

He later invited me back to his place, and my gut told me to say yes, so I did. It was the most incredible night. Not necessarily because of him, although he was great, but because the entire night was an exact match to the vibration that I've been putting out, and just the fact that I totally realized it for what it was in the moment.

The sex was amazing. I've never experienced anything like it. I recognized as it was happening that it was the answer to my desire to experience intimacy like never before. Here I was, with this man I barely knew, yet I felt so confident, safe, and supported. I wasn't self-conscious, and, for the most part, I wasn't worrying about anything except what I was feeling at the time.

Everything, from the music that he introduced me to, to the fact that he had a five-yearold daughter, to the way he told me to get out of my head and into my body, all of it was absolutely perfect. I literally had tears of joy in my eyes, because I couldn't stop thinking, "This is my doing. I created this."

The interesting thing was, when I woke up the next morning, I felt fear. Fear around going home to my house, where I live with my parents, and having to explain to them where I'd been if/when they asked why I hadn't come home. For a moment, I felt like a teenager again. But, I recognized the fear for what it was, and reassured myself that I wasn't doing anything wrong, since there is no wrong anywhere in the Universe, and that I'm an adult and can do as I please.

I got home, and though both my parents were home, both were outside doing their own things, and no one asked me anything. I got to take a shower, lounge around, and go about my day basking in the glow of my awesome manifestation.

So, once again, no real question here. Just wanted to share this experience, and get your feedback. Thanks again...I'm having a lot of fun with this, if you couldn't already tell :)

With love,
Kyla


Dear Kyla,

There are a lot of interesting things going on here that you can see from a higher perspective. First, the universe yielded to your desire for sex in the most elegant way imaginable. Had you felt insecure, fearful, or judgmental, you could have come up with many reasons not to go with your gut. But the gut feeling was inspiration to act. The inspiration, coming from a positive emotional state of being, meant that it was right for you to experience this. The inspiration, from your positive emotional state of being, meant that this was the manifestation of the desire. You were a vibrational match to it and this was all set up for you.

Had you been in a low-emotional state of being and your received inspiration, it would have been the inspiration to relieve your low-emotional state. This would not have been for your long term benefit. It would have just been a way to distract you from how you were feeling at the time. So then, you can know that when you are inspired to do something from a high emotional state of being, it is for your highest good. When you feel inspiration to act from a low-emotional state of being, it is simply designed to distract you from the way you are feeling, but it will not likely be of any benefit and might actually be something unwanted. Pay attention to your emotional state of being before acting on inspiration.

When you woke and felt fear, you were wise enough to realize that the fear was irrational and so you reduced the intensity of it by showing yourself enough evidence to prove it was irrational and therefore false. You told yourself that you are an adult and there was no wrong in this. This is a wonderful thing and you pre-paved your encounter with your parents. Had you continued to feel fear, they would have said something to make you feel the fear in physical terms. They would have had no choice. They are in your life for you. They are supposed to flesh out your fears and bring them to the surface. That is their role in your life (and it's everyone else's role as well). When you feel an irrational fear and you allow it to linger without analyzing it, someone is going to say or do something that will bring the fear to the surface. It's just the system of physical reality at work. By reducing it's intensity on your own, the universe has no need to bring it up in a manifestation event.

In a natural world, free from the judgment and limitations imposed by a fearful society, you would have many more encounters such as this one. You might call them random, but they were all set up by the universe based on your desires. Going forward, you might believe the next one with another man might be pushing the boundaries of what is considered appropriate behavior for a woman, and so you might limit the manifestations that would otherwise happen. Fear and doubt will creep in if you let it.

You could happily encounter man after man and have a series of wonderful nights like this, if you allowed it. However, you have some limiting beliefs in this area. If you maintain your desire for sex, which is healthy and natural, you must find a way around your limiting beliefs. You might settle for sex with one man and thereby satisfy societal pressures by being monogamous. You might put off another encounter for a period of time. You might keep it secret some way. However, if you would simply realize that it's your limiting beliefs that are keeping you from expressing and receiving your own personal desire, then you could allow anything to happen on it's own without resisting the perfect and most elegant manifestation of what you truly desire.

This was a wonderful manifestation and your ability to see what was actually happening was remarkable.

With Love,
Joshua

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