Joshua,
I've spent the last 48 hours doing exactly what I wanted to do. Last night I took pictures outside in the golden hour, drank wine, painted, and listened to music. Today I had a call with Jeanette, went shopping, and went with a friend to see a band play. I've been feeling excited and alive.
Tonight, at the bar, I felt sexy. That's not a way I've ever felt comfortable viewing myself. But with the outfit I chose, and the boots, I knew I looked good. I felt like I was doing it for me, but I was still interested in noticing if other people noticed.
I felt the music in my soul and I danced, and I shut out everyone else in the bar to the best of my abilities. At one point I went out for a cigarette and sat at a table. There was a group of people outside, then most of them left and one of the remaining guys said "Oh, they ought to know better than to leave a pretty girl out here alone."
At the time, the comment registered as gross to me, but I didn't feel like I had a lot of negative emotion surrounding it. In the moment I simply pegged the guy as a douchebag. But after reflecting on the situation, I realize there are obviously some limiting beliefs at play or the event wouldn't have ever happened (or at least it wouldn't have bothered me).
Are you able to provide any insight into this? I knew I looked good, and I wanted other people to notice too. But then when a guy made it clear that he had noticed, I felt threatened. I felt unsafe. I felt judgment around the comment he made. And I felt small. Really fucking small.
I realize that this was a manifestation event happening for me, and I would love to hear your thoughts on the best way to get to the bottom of it.
Thanks as always.
With love,
Kyla
Dear Kyla,
It's easier to illustrate a manifestation event like this if you were to imagine how the real Kyla would have felt. The real Kyla is a being of pure positive love, appreciation and acceptance. The real Kyla is limitless. The real Kyla operates from a stance of unconditional love. So how would the real Kyla react in this situation?
You are moving towards that true version of who you really are. All that you want in life will come as you move closer and closer to that authentic version of Kyla. Anything less than who you really are (a being of pure positive love) is due to fear. As you work to remove the fear, you move closer to the true version of you.
The real Kyla would be without judgment. That is something important to understand. The true version of you does not judge another's behavior as inappropriate. The real Kyla would not want anyone to be, say or do anything other than what they would be, say or do. This is not a criticism of you, it's just an illustration of the differences between who you're being now and who you really are. If you operated out of unconditional love, then you would not care about the conditions in the moment because you would consider them appropriate no matter what was going on.
This is a very deep subject and you might not be ready for this yet. What we are saying is that the higher, broader version of you, the one that exists now in the nonphysical, your inner self, understands how the universe works. You get whatever you are a match to based on the vibration that is emanating from you in any moment in time. If someone gives you a compliment, it's because it matches your vibration. Whatever is said, it's a match to your vibration. The difference then is the perspective from which you choose to view the comment.
The true version of Kyla would view the statement as a compliment because she would accept the guy as a perfect being of love, she would accept herself as a perfect being of love, and from that stance, the comment would be the perfect manifestation of how she was feeling in the moment. The fearful version of Kyla sees the situation a little differently. It is certainly not wrong because the moment has something to offer and from your analysis of your negative emotion, you will reduce some fear in the process. As you reduce the intensity of fear, you automatically increase the intensity of love. Each time you analyze a fear, just as you're doing now, you move closer to becoming the true version of you.
In this case, for whatever reason, you chose to look at the situation from a perspective of judgment and you judged his words as wrong. It could have been the physical qualities of the man, the way he said the words, or the words themselves, but you judged something to be wrong and in the moment you wanted it to be different than it was. You chose a perspective that was not aligned with who you really are or what you really want and your inner self let you know about it. That's why you felt negative emotion.
There is no wrong anywhere in the universe. If you judge something as bad or wrong, you are simply choosing a limited perspective. If you chose a perspective that aligned with who you are, you would have been delighted by the comment. The comment was the manifestation you were looking for. You wanted to be noticed and you were. Your lingering insecurities (fear) caused you to react as you did. Release the insecurity (fear) and next time you might choose a more empowering perspective.
Now, can you look at this event, find the fear, and prove the fear is false by finding evidence that it's just not true? If so, you'll reduce this one fear. Let us know what you come up with.
You are love.
Joshua
