Dear Joshua,
Why thank you - that is kind of you.
Yes, start appreciating - I thought I was, but maybe not enough. Over the last two days I have been stopping a lot more frequently to just check in on my emotional state and say to myself "nothing is more important than what I'm feeling". I've felt a bit more on top of that action. I also just got a glimmer that I'm a bit afraid of checking in on my emotional state in any more depth than that, because if its not great, that then requires some investigation which might lead to more negative emotion. So I sort of skirt and slide around the subject. But rather than skirting and skidding, what I could be doing is "facing the fear", and reducing it. It is one thing to put one's hand on the hot stove and quickly take it off and not go back to the stove if possible. It is another thing to learn to manage the stove. A lot more helpful. I think I probably need to take pen to paper a bit more frequently to go deeper into the investigation, otherwise my thoughts don't stay on it (by choice I assume).
A small miracle happened yesterday. I found myself starting to rush at work again, and I consciously stopped myself and thought - "slow down - this doesn't matter - I want to feel good" and I actually did - the conscious act of putting myself first with love. I also see how I regularly go into externals being the reason for internals and not the other way around. When I do notice I need to remind myself that no... it's me creating this, and it's all good. It's all for my good. Hmmmm... some things miiiiight be starting to take. For the moment, I still look outside and think "but nothing has changed". I'm looking for those rushes I've had a couple of times since I started talking with you and which I love. I know - when I notice something is missing... it will continue to be missing. So we are back to this subject of appreciation.
My question would be "what would be the most effective way of appreciating, in your view". Would it be list writing? Or stopping and seeing what I like during the day (or both, or anything with no specific way or list?) I have received the "I give you the gift of" list I sent to myself from the States. I've given myself a lot so far in this life. But what I really want is freedom from the resistance. And lots of sincere moments of appreciation. With appreciation :)
Kate
Dear Kate,
The appreciation list that you sent yourself was designed to help you see your life from a higher perspective. From the higher perspective you have a happy life full of things you like because you managed to adjust your vibration to attract them and you allowed them to come into your life. From the higher perspective, everything has worked out very nicely. From the limited perspective, there are some things that are missing and you don't see how they will come. You feel anxious, worried, fearful, and confused. Isn't it interesting that it's just a matter of perspective?
You wrote a list of one hundred things you appreciate about your life in four categories. You wrote this list by hand and that altered your perspective a bit. You could easily see that you have a life filled with many desirable things. You sent that list to yourself and you realized a new perspective; these were all gifts you gave to yourself. These were all things you wanted and somehow you figured out a way to modify your vibration so that you could receive these gifts.
The writing of appreciation brings it from your thoughts to the paper through a physical activity. You brought nonphysical thoughts to physical reality in the form of written words. By bringing your focus on those things you appreciate, you allow them to grow. By accepting the fact that you attracted all these things, you gain a better appreciation of your powers of creation. You can birth a desire and attract anything you want as long as you figure out a way to allow yourself to alter your vibration. You've done it countless times before and you can and will do it countless times again. It is just your perception of what is going on in between the birthing of a desire and the manifestation of it that is getting you all caught up.
You birth a desire. You think you know how that desire will manifest itself in your reality. When things don't go according to your preconceived plan, you feel negative emotion in the form of angst, frustration, disappointment, and worry. But since you cannot know how it's going to work out, these's no reason to feel fear. Fear is at the basis of your negative emotions. It is because you fear that things aren't working out that gives rise to negative emotion. If the desire would just manifest, you could be relieved from your negative emotion. However, as soon as you birth a new desire, you start the whole process all over again.
You will never, ever stop having desires and so you will always undergo change in order to become a vibrational match to those desires. You have two choices: keep worrying about how things will turn out, or have faith that things are always working out for you. The first approach is one you're familiar with. You try to coerce the conditions so that it appears as if things are going your way. If it appears like it's good, then you are happy. If it seems bad, then you are unhappy. This is a reactive approach to life. The alternative approach is to realize that you cannot know how things will turn out, that you must have faith that they will, that you must allow your beliefs to be altered, that you must go with the flow of life, and that you must judge everything that happens as good because it is moving you where you want to go and without that step, you can't get there.
You allow with faith that the universe knows how to get you there or you resist by thinking you know how to get where you want to go on your own. You either engage the forces of the universe or you resist those same forces by thinking you know better. You either float downstream, gently moving around obstacles or you furiously paddle upstream, constantly stopping to remove any obstacles on your own.
It is good to notice how you feel. This is your guidance. Strive to feel good in every moment and you choose the allowing approach to life. Demand to feel good above all and you will be choosing the downstream route to your dreams. When you feel any negative emotion, stop, catch your breath, realize you are making something up and this is causing you to feel fear, realize it's false, and allow the boat to turn downstream.
The most effective way to appreciate what you have is by looking at the conditions that exist in the moment and realize how wonderful everything really is. Look at it from the perspective of someone who has nothing or look at it from our perspective. You have everything you really desire and everything else your really desire is on its way to you. The best way to appreciate everything you have is to purposely choose a perspective that allows you to see how wonderful your life truly is.
Joshua
