Hi Joshua,
So my husband and I have been having conflicts between us. The other day we had a miscommunication as to who is going to pay for lunch, not that it mattered, but I needed to know whether to bring my card, as we were walking or he was bringing his wallet. We arrived at the restaurant and placed our order to come to find out that neither of us had money or a credit card. We walked back home, both of us taking a different path. He arrived home first, grabbed his wallet and hopped into the Van. I had no idea if he was going back to work, eating alone, or what not, clearly mad at me. He ended up bringing the food home after a few phone calls for me asking for information. It is funny at times how he likes to dole out information a morsel at time. Yes, I see it as control and fear. Ok, so I was kicked out of alignment for a few moments and ended up leaving with my daughter and friend for a lovely afternoon.
Then last night my husband wasn't in the mood to cook, which is fine, so I began cleaning and cooking our dinner. A few friends said they would be joining me at my house for some pasta and chicken cutlets. My husband can't eat regular pasta, and guess what I made. Regular pasta instead of his rice pasta that was ironically the same shape. He was furious and growled at me, asking why didn't I make the rice pasta. I said, sorry and said I was just in the mode of cooking. I pointed out to him he could have asked what type of pasta was boiling, or discussed "hey, can you make the rice pasta too," or whatever. Then I asked "are you making me wrong?" and he said "yes." So I said "fine then I'm wrong for not making you rice pasta." But then I said, "by not making you rice pasta doesn't mean I don't love you." I asked if he thought I made the regular pasta because I choose my friends over him, and that I did it out of spite? He said yes to both. Yup a manifestation event for both of us.
So when I ponder this experience, I think I choose to make the pasta that I like and maybe this is different from who I was? Am I having conflict because I'm feeling the control and fear more? But the super nice news was I was ok with him being upset and kicked out of alignment. He ended up making his own pasta and I hung out with my friend Ewa outside while he stewed. Ironically a few friends cancelled and Ewa did not end up eating. So the pasta that he thought I made for my friends did not get up eaten except by me. It is all so curious.
With Love your student,
Isabelle
Dear Isabelle,
What a wonderful manifestation event for the both of you! Yes, certainly, you did not make the "wrong" pasta on purpose, but it was no mistake either. You were inspired (or we could say that your millions conspired) to choose the pasta that your husband is unable to eat. From his perspective, given the earlier manifestation event, it appears as if you do not care and to him that means that he is not loved. Certainly, when he realized that you made pasta that he could not eat, he felt fear. Why did he feel fear when other people would not feel fear? Because he has a limiting belief and this triggers the fear. The belief is that he is not worthy of love and this event proves it.
From his perspective, believing he is not worthy of love, he concludes that if you loved him, you would care enough to make his pasta for him. Since you failed this test, it is proof that you do not really love him. He feels negative emotion, which is his indication that his inner self does not share this perspective. He is worthy of love. He deserves to be loved. He is good enough to be loved by others. He has ample proof of this if he will look around and add it all up. However, his fear prevents him from doing this. He believes that his limited perspective is accurate. He perceives danger and believes in the limited, illusory reality in front of him. Since he does not understand how this system works, he believes that the negative emotion he feels is an appropriate response to the conditions that have been created from this manifestation event. He does not realize that the negative emotion is simply an indication that he has chosen the limited perspective due to a fear arising from a limiting belief that has been triggered. He does not understand that it is the belief that causes the negative emotion and not his wife cooking the wrong pasta. So, all he can do is try to make you wrong so that you will not do that again. Or he could leave so that he no longer has to endure the emotional pain that arises each time this limiting belief is triggered.
Now, knowing what you know and being the conscious creator you are, what are you to do? You can see things clearly from the higher perspective. You could try to explain what he is feeling in rational terms based on your understanding of the mechanism of physical reality, but he might not be in the emotional state that would allow him to perceive what you are saying. All you can really do is soothe his fears. You can remove the conflict by understanding exactly what he's going through. You do not need to take him out of it. You are not responsible for his negative emotion, neither is it your responsibility to get him into alignment. But you can comfort him and reassure him.
Things are going to happen that will cause him to lose his alignment. He is going to blame someone other than himself. Often, that will be you. You are not to blame and isn't that good to know? You can be conscious and create the reality you prefer. How do you do that. You become the authentic version of Isabelle in these times. You express your love fearlessly. You do not allow fear to take you out of alignment. You understand exactly what's happening and you adopt the stance of the observer and you watch it play out. You ease the fears of the other person and express your love. If you are inspired to later on, you might explain how this system works. If he can hear that, you will help him to raise his vibration to a completely new level of awareness. And won't that be fun!
With our love,
We are Joshua
