Dear Joshua,
I've been a crying a lot. I read you answer to question number 30 and cried. I cried this morning. I think I'm grieving my persona. I'm letting go of Isabelle, the persona that was created through this life experience. I am pre-paving that each day I gently wipe away my persona, thank you for your suggestion. The image was sent of a painting of a painting underneath. The painting on top was beautiful, but still covering the true magnificent masterpiece underneath, the true art.
I've also seen my form as me, my body, and I wipe away each particle and piece of my persona like a layer of dust on my body and kiss it away to the Universe for I can't loose myself. But it feels like a loss, a shedding, and tears flow, even though I know my persona is false and I can't loose anything. My inner-self is right with me supporting me as you are too. So I cry and let go a piece at a time. I understand it is a process. So I ask more about this, "You think you are liked, respected, and loved now, but you have no idea what that really feels like."
Please refine the idea of potentiality for me.
You loving student,
Isabelle
Dear Isabelle,
You, like most, have lived your life to this point in time by the old approach to life of control. Certainly, you knew this would happen, but you intended to find a new approach. In the old approach, you maintained your perception of control through your behavior. You identified some qualities as good and you adopted those traits. In doing so, some of those traits were in opposition to who you really are. If your mate or daughter has traits that you admire, but that you do not have yourself, they are part of the true Isabelle. If you have anyone in your life that has a trait you admire, it is a trait that is naturally within you. If you think that you can't be like them, it is due to the existence of a trait you possess as part of your own persona. You deny yourself that aspect you admire, because it conflicts with a trait you believe defines you. Most traits have opposite counterparts. The existence of one trait lives in opposition or exclusion to other traits.
This is the reason many people choose mates who have opposite traits. They believe something about them self does not allow them to be more. Their definition of self limits them from doing things or behaving in certain ways and they secretly admire others who do not exercise these limitations. They tend to look for these traits in others so as to bring it closer to their reality. They keep denying themselves this behavior and so they often grow to resent their mate for the very thing they wanted themselves.
You do not need to grieve over your persona. While you are not defined by it, every positive trait will still remain. Who you really are is the culmination of every possible trait. In that you are limitless. You remove the persona, which is the false perception of self and release the limitations it creates. You aren't giving anything up, you are expanding by allowing the persona to expand so that it does not exclude anything. You aren't removing the persona, you are allowing it to be more flexible. You are not really abandoning your idea of self, you are allowing it to expand. The pressure you feel is from the ego's attempt to keep the persona small and manageable.
Your old approach of control through the careful creation of your persona is being shed. You are adopting a new approach where you become the authentic version of you. This is the expanded version. This is the approach where you give up control (fear) and become more. You give up your attachment to the things you believe are necessary in order to live a good life, a selfless life, and you move toward a self-directed life. You become selfish in a crude manner of speaking. This is counter to your persona. You believe that in order to be good, to be liked, and to be respected, you must be selfless, not selfish. We want you to see that the idea of selflessness is a control tactic. By attempting to have other people see you as good (by every measure of that idea), you are actually trying to control how they think about you. You are only doing anything in order to control the opinion of others. It has been a game you (and many, many others) have been playing for a long time. You think it's working, but it's actually quite limiting. You think you are loved now, but you have no idea what that even means.
When you expand your persona to include every possible trait imaginable, you do it for yourself. You are not doing it for others. You are thinking of self. You are liberating self; not at the expense of others, but for the true benefit of others. As you live authentically, you engage universal forces and you become powerful. In that example of alignment and authenticity, you inspire others to do the same. When you think of yourself and what you personally want, you come into alignment with who you really are and you step into your power. This is the best thing you can do for those around you.
Those around you were attracted to the inauthentic version of Isabelle. So that attachment is partly based in a fallacy. It is not real. It is mostly based in love, because you are ultimately a being of love and you attract love, but it is partly maintained by fear and in that you cannot experience true love or love to a more expanded definition and experience. Would you want your daughter to follow your old approach and become a version of her that lives in fear and tries to control others by acting in a way that is counter to who she really is just so that she can attempt to coerce others into liking and loving her? Or would you prefer that she relinquish control and live authentically? How you choose to live is based on how your mother chose to live. How your daughter chooses to live will be influenced by how you choose to live. Express your true love for your daughter and everyone around you by expanding your expression of self and living as who you authentically are.
There is nothing to fear in that, there's nothing sad about that, and there's no reason to grieve over that. It is actually an exciting and exhilarating idea, isn't it?
With our love,
We are Joshua
