Emma Question #86


Hi Joshua,

So I have been doing exactly what you told me not to do and thinking 20 steps ahead and freaking myself out. I'm not worried about what he will think of me - I already sense that he will be pretty impressed by me just being myself, and I know my confidence in myself and acceptance of him for who he is will make him feel good being around me. What I'm worrying about is if we ended up seeing each other again, would I just be settling for someone who is here right now and missing out on something way better? Would I be unhappy? Does his life fit into my dream life? What will other people think? I guess my mind going so far into the future and causing me to feel anxiety is not a very good thing!


Dear Emma,

When something enters your reality such as this man, it is for your benefit. It is not random, or coincidence, or luck. There is something in your vibration that has created this person coming back into your life. What that is, who can say? But it is and there is something for you in it.

Adopt a stance of curiosity and simply take the next step in front of you. You messaged him, he messaged back and now the next step is to meet in person. That's all you have to do. There's nothing more to it than that. It is just a habit of going too many steps ahead and thinking you'll get trapped into some future you do not want. That is the old you. The new you understands that things are unfolding based on your true desires as a result of the vibration you are emitting. If this seems like something fun, interesting, or exciting, then you can know that it is for you.

Fears will always pop up. You will need to push them out of the way and resolve them before they cause you to act like the old Emma. If you resolve them now, you will prepave your way to an effective meeting and the next step will be revealed to you. If you let yourself be dragged down to a lower emotional state, due to these irrational fears, then you will not be present when the meeting occurs. You must maintain a very high emotional state when you meet so that you can get the information contained in this meeting. So let's analyze these fears, prove their false, and diminish their intensity.

If you end up dating him again, you might be settling for someone who is here and missing out on someone else. Now, with all you know about the Law of Attraction, is this even possible? You are attracting what is right for you now, and when you birth a desire for something else, you can allow that to come to you. If you feel interest, passion, desire, excitement when you are around him, you will know that it is right to move to the next step. Will you get married this weekend? Of course not. Will he propose to you, ask you to be exclusive, or anything else on your first meeting? That's not likely, but if it happens, you will now what the next step is. What's likely to happen is that you will see how much you have changed compared to him, or how much you missed when you were with him, or how interesting and funny he really is, or how you can't imagine why you ever were attracted to him. It will be something like that. You can't know what it will be, but you will know after you meet. So simply approach it with curiosity and realize that the next step will present itself and at that time you can think about that. You do not have enough information now, so how can you jump ahead. Information will be revealed when you meet in person, until then, there's nothing to think about.

Would you be unhappy if you entered another relationship with him? This step is too many steps ahead to think of, but let's play with it anyway. You would have met and received some information. The next step will be to resume a romance with him or not. If you do, you'll start dating and a few weeks will go by before you find yourself committed. Will you be unhappy? Well, that would be up to you at the time.

If you were unhappy, what would be the cause? You would be out of alignment with your inner self. You would perceive that you were trapped, that you could not easily end the relationship, that you were being the old Emma. So you simply say to yourself, "I have changed. I know more now. I am more confident now. If I maintain my alignment by focussing on the wonderful aspects of this relationship, I will be very happy. However, if I resort to looking at what is wrong with him, rather than all the good things, I will fall out of alignment and become unhappy. It's not him, it will be me. I will either be able to maintain my alignment or not. Whether it is about him or anyone else, it will be the same work. I'm assuming that it will be easier to maintain my alignment with some men rather than others, but I do not know this for certain. What I do know is that he is here and I can practice being in alignment while I'm with him. I can practice expressing my love and acceptance of him, and practice being authentic and not requiring him to be different than he is. It may not work, all I will be doing is practicing. If it doesn't work, I can easily end the relationship and know it will be best for both of us. If I decide I want something different, I can easily end it and move on."

Does his life fit into your dream life? Well, your dream life is unfolding and here he is, so he must be a part of that life somehow. It might be for a short while or not at all, or for the rest of your life. There's only one way to find out. Your desire to control every aspect of your future is simply your resistance to how your life is actually unfolding. If you will simply give up control and go with the flow having faith that the universe knows exactly what you truly want and how to get it for you, you can allow everything to unfold in the most elegant manner possible. But you must take only one step at a time. Take a step, see where you are, work on feeling good, analyze the fears surrounding you, prove they are false, and take the next step. Repeat the process as needed.

What will other people think? Other people will mirror what you think. If you think this is fun for now and there's no heavy attachment to any specific outcome, then that's what they will think. If you think you are going backwards, then that's what they will think. If you think you are doing something wrong, then that's what they will think and they will tell you exactly how you feel. You'll get mad at them and try to persuade them, but it's always what you think that matters. If you can control what you think, then the mirror will reflect that.

There is only one process here. Something enters your life that is exciting, interesting, or fun. It feels good now. You will face fear. You must resolve that fear in advance. At the critical time when you are taking action, you must maintain a very high emotional state. Meditate before you go. Set your intentions. Feel good. At the meeting, be your authentic self by accepting how he is being as perfect and accepting how you are being as perfect. You will feel good and be inspired to say all the right things and ask all the right questions. Be curious. Find out why you are there. Be open and give him a chance. Allow him to see the new version of you. Be bold and confident and express yourself as you are, not as how you want him to think you are. Don't let your persona or ego get in the way. Be as close to who you really are as you can and be intentional in your communication and interaction. Remember, this event is for you, so make it about you.

With our love,
We are Joshua