Emma Question #73


Hi Joshua,

I have been thinking about your last answer where you talked about the trend I have of only liking guys who don't like me back, and not liking guys who do like me. I guess a reason for that would be my own self worth, not seeing myself as good enough, so thinking there is something wrong with a guy for liking me. Maybe it's because I look at the type of guy I want and presume he would be only in to certain types of girls, and I don't see myself as good as those girls. And then when a guy comes along and seems excited by me, I presume they must have pretty low standards and therefore not what I'm looking for. But I feel like that is the old me now anyway. I'm getting more confident in myself everyday! Practicing seeing myself as good enough for anyone I want, and visualizing what that would look like, and it's starting to feel more normal and believable now.

But I guess the main reason I have not manifested my desire yet is because I keep focusing on the lack of it. Pushing against it not being here, being frustrated with where I am, thinking there is something going wrong and a problem I need to fix, looking for outside evidence before I am willing to feel better and relax, etc. This is the way I have been vibrating, and therefore creating more of. I have been so busy searching for the problems and what I am doing wrong and what I need to fix, that I have not even realised that I have been mostly focusing negatively about the whole subject. So I am making a renewed effort now to replace these old negative thought patterns with new ones that feel better, and trying to trust that feeling good is the most productive and effective thing I can do.


Dear Emma,

Here is what we would like to say in this very moment to you. You are moving through a process of learning to approach life in a radically new way. You are beginning to understand the concepts and the theory. As you put these ideas into practice, you will begin to observe your life differently and react to the conditions in new ways. You will notice when you are trying to change the conditions rather than how you feel. You will realize that you are choosing a limited perspective. You will understand why it is you feel negative emotion. You will remember that what you truly want is different than what you think you want.

In the old approach to life, you would naturally assume that if the conditions were nice, then you could feel good and so by attaining good conditions, you could insure that you could feel good. However, changing the conditions, like meeting a hot guy so that you feel worthy, just won't work. The hot guy part is just your way of making yourself feel worthy. You think that it would be proof that you are indeed worthy. But of course, that is not the proof of your or anyone else's worthiness. The proof of that must come from inside.

You are self-contained and complete as you are now in this very moment. You are perfect as you are and you are evolving to new levels of awareness and consciousness, but you will be no more perfect than you are now, because you are self-contained. That means you already have everything you need to explore reality as you intended. You do not need to change anything about yourself or the conditions to explore reality as you chose to explore it. It will all unfold perfectly and elegantly if you just allow it.

How do you allow something you want to come to you when it seems like it's not coming and it seems like it's taking too much time? Well, you could have faith in the universe. You could trust in the system. You could believe in the law of attraction. You could reduce your resistance to what is happening. You could make it your number one priority to feel good in each moment. You could start receiving inspiration. You could look at everything that is going right. You could believe in your own purpose. You could understand and revel in your absolute and undeniable worthiness. You could choose the higher perspective. You could perceive life as wonderful as it exists right now without asking it to be different than it is. You could accept yourself as you are and know for a fact that nothing about you needs to change for you to receive all that you truly want.

These are just some of the ways to go with the flow of life. By feeling good, you really do allow all that you truly want to come to you. There is a strong habit of judgment that humans insist on. It is a natural part of physical reality and is a component of the survival instinct. Judgment allows you to assess the situation in times of real danger. However, it is most often based in fear and so you tend to reject that which is offered to you because it doesn't look like you think it should look. But your perspective is limited and you cannot see how what you want will unfold.

If you are feeling good, inspiration, nice thoughts, and interesting ideas will come to you. Feeling good elevates your vibration so that you become a match to ideas that resonate with who you really are and what you want. When you feel good about who you are without judging any aspect of yourself as wrong, you reach a vibrational state that attracts thoughts and ideas that are in alignment with what you truly want. This, as you know, is the basis of the system of physical reality (and nonphysical reality too). It is the law of attraction. If you reach the vibration of authenticity and acceptance of yourself as you are now, you will attract things that match that. Since this is a very high vibration, you will attract very good things. However, if you are still judging those things as they come, your vibration dips back down and you miss these opportunities that were intended for you. If you push past your fears and have faith that they must be right (even if they look wrong), you will be led to the next step. That's all you want to do.

Achieve a high vibration by feeling good. See what comes. Accept what comes as good no matter what it looks like. Have faith that you can allow it in as it is in the moment. We are not saying that you need to commit to it for life, for a year, or for even another moment. What we are saying is that it's good and right to take the step which allows it in and from there you can take the next step. Don't look too many steps ahead, just take that one step and then see where you are.

You might say "that doesn't feel good to me" or "my intuition tells me it's not right." We understand that and certainly it's good to trust these feelings, however, those feelings might be caused by fear. If there is fear in taking the step, well that's perfectly natural. If the thing is attracted from a good feeling place, then it's right. Your job is not to dismiss it right away, your work is to see how it may be right. Your job is to be curious and try to find why it came to you and why it is good.

You have reached an awareness of the concepts we have presented. Now it's time to do the work and put those ideas to work. Of course there will be fear. Practice pushing through the fear and see what happens. Practice feeling good and see what happens. Practice seeing yourself as perfect as you are and see what happens. Practice focusing on yourself as perfect and ignore the things that you want to fix. Believe it or not, there's nothing to fix. Any perceived imperfection is an illusion. You just happen to be perfectly designed as you are in this moment to receive all that you truly want. That's the reality of you. There's nothing to fix and you cannot get any better. All you can do is raise your vibration, expand in the process, and evolve to a version of you that is a match to whatever it is you truly want. Feel good about who you are now and we will bet everything we have that you will receive what you truly want. Although, we must admit that we don't have anything to bet with.

With our love for the perfection, beauty, intelligence, magnificence, and power that is Emma in this moment,
We are Joshua