Emma Question #69


Hi Joshua,

When I say to myself: "imagine if you met your dream guy this year" - a negative feeling pops up. I have been trying to sort out for a while what it's about. I feel like, intuitively, it's the last block I have to clear. Tonight, I decided to just sit with the feeling and feel it so that it gets bigger and will attract thoughts in that will let me know what it is actually about. I'm not sure if I have gotten to the root of if yet, but one thing that popped up was my angst towards my friends getting in relationships when I was a few years younger. I felt negative emotion around that because it took my friends away from me and also meant less fun for me as they weren't available as much to go out anymore. So I'm wondering if I somehow transferred that to mean if I got in a relationship it equals less fun and loss of friends. What did you think? Any other tips for getting to the bottom of a negative emotion you're just not sure about?


Dear Emma,

There is always fear around something you want, especially if that thing is important to you. There is always fear around change. Fear will continue to pop up as you move forward into receiving that which you want. The reason you do not have what you want is due to the limiting affects of fear. This is why we teach you to analyze the fear, determine if it's rational or irrational, if it's irrational, then prove to yourself it is false, and move forward with action when inspired. When you think of meeting your dream guy this year, there are many potential fears. What if you're not vibrationally ready for him? What if it takes you away from your friends? What if he doesn't come this year? What if he never comes? These are all irrational fears and therefore they are all false. Every single one.

You never have to worry about receiving that which you want. It is not up to you to make it happen. The design of the universe is one of attraction. From your limited perspective, it seems as if you should be the one creating what you want. You should be doing the work to make it happen, but that's not how the universe works. You cannot really make anything happen, you must simply and easily allow it to come. Of course, you could make it happen, but this is really an illusion. Even if you think you are making it happen, the universe is just lining things up for you anyway.

Let's imagine that your goal was to meet your dream guy this year. So you create a plan. You will go out to a club on the nights you are home and you will wander around talking to guys and you'll pick one. You will go out on a few dates and if he's not for you, you'll try again. If you do this enough times, you'll eventually find your dream guy. However, what you will find will simply be the reflection of your desperate attempt to find your dream guy this year. All of those experiences will cause you to rethink your entire approach until you finally realize that you cannot go out and get your dream guy, you must allow him to come to you.

Now, how does this work? The universe knows what you truly want through the information contained in your vibration. You are emitting a signal that carries the most refined nuances of your desire in such detail that you could not accurately describe to anyone. The universe will bring you what you want when you're ready, when you allow it. You have high standards, that's fine, and so to be a match to the guy you want, the guy who is coming, you must make some changes to your belief system. This is all information you have heard before, but we are saying it again, because this is how the system works and for you to become a match, you must change who you are being now and become the version of you who is ready to receive that which you desire. You must change and evolve to a new level and that is done through the modification of certain limiting beliefs.

Before you are ready to receive the guy of your dreams, you must become the girl of his dreams. Who would you be if you were the dream girl for the guy you imagine? You would be confident. You would be intelligent. You would be strong and stable. You would believe in yourself and all of your qualities and attributes. You would see yourself as a prize equal to the value and substance of the guy you imagine. You would see yourself as his equal. You would not be craving love from him, but you would be ready to fully love and accept him. The reason you have not allowed your dream guy to enter your life is not because you will miss fun times with your friends. You will have even more fun with your friends once he arrives. The reason you have not allowed him to come is because you think that you do not deserve him. You fear that you are not good enough for him. You think that when you find him, he will realize that you're not right for him. That's all it is. Just another irrational fear based on a limiting belief about yourself. It's the most common fear in the world. You believe you are not worthy of the man you desire. But that belief is false.

Who you really are is the most wonderful person in the history of all creation. Who you are being is one who does not believe that. The gap between who you are being and who you really are must be closed. This is your only work. This is the work we are doing now with us. This is the only subject of any importance. Until you believe in your own undeniable worthiness and beauty and love and value, you won't be ready for the one you want. You also do not want the one you desire to come to you before you are ready. You want to close the gap and then allow him to walk over to you. When you are ready, he will come, but not a moment before.

In this year, your work is to learn to accept who you are as worthy of all you desire. Do not focus on him, focus on you and he will be attracted to the you that you will become. He will be attracted to the version of you that will be ready for him when he comes. So don't think about him, think about how wonderful it will be to be the person you will be when he does come. That person feels worthy. That person understands herself. That woman focuses on her amazing qualities of love and acceptance. That person is limitless and does the daily work necessary to consciously reduce the intensity of her limiting beliefs by proving that the underlying fears are irrational and false.

Make it your goal not to find your dream guy this year, but to find your dream self. Become the evolved and worthy version of you this year. Become who you want to be. Become a version of you that is loving and kind and unconditionally accepting of self. Until you can love and accept yourself, you will never be able to fully love and accept another. Doesn't your dream guy deserve to be unconditionally loved? Would you love to fully accept him as he is? The only way you'll ever be able to do that is to see yourself as we see you. You are a beautiful, loving, intelligent, worthy being who just happens to be the most wonderful person in the world. Whoever this guy is, he's the luckiest person on earth.

With our love,
We are Joshua