Emma Question #64


Hi Joshua,

I can accept that I need to become a vibrational match with my ideal partner before meeting him. That's ok. But what I have an issue with is my love life being so quiet in the meantime! I'm so sick of having such a quiet love life. I want to have fun experiences with guys and date someone casually on the way to meeting my match. Surely I can manifest this??


Dear Emma,

Surely you can manifest a casual relationship. It's an easy manifestation. If you want to meet someone to date casually, this relationship will help you raise your vibration even further. You'll expand as a result of the casual relationship. We just have one question; why hasn't this casual relationship already manifested?

To an outside observer, one would think it would be quite easy for you to manifest a casual relationship. You are beautiful, intelligent, fun, interesting, charming, sociable and wonderful in every way. There are many, many people who would love the opportunity to form a casual relationship with you. Why then has this not been manifested into your reality? There can be only one answer; resistance.

You have a set of limiting beliefs and we will call them rules or criteria. Your rules all revolve around your sense of worthiness and the persona you have created that you think defines who you are. In other words, you have standards. If someone falls below your standards, even in a casual relationship, you believe this is indicative of who you really are. You think it says something about you. So you seek validation in the outward appearance of the one you choose to date, even casually. We say that you must give all that up.

Give up your resistance is a way of saying give up your fear. Your fear is that you will be judged based on the person who is to become your causal partner. That is your resistance. Give up caring about what other people think and just allow whoever comes along to take the first step. You have a habit of looking ahead fifty steps. Why not just look to the first step and see what happens?

You can create an experiment. You can select a person and either approach them and ask them out for a drink or a coffee or even a text conversation and see what happens. Throw away your standards because in this experiment they are too limiting. We just want to see you make it to the first step without discounting the whole thing because you want to jump too far ahead.

If anyone asks you to have a drink, to have dinner, to have a coffee, to take a walk, to help with something, to have a conversation, or anything else, accept it. It is an experiment and you are not committed to anything other than the opportunity to discover a bit more about your fears. However, you must take the first step.

If it is a casual, fun relationship, then it need not say anything about who you are. If it is casual, it neither reflects well on you nor poorly on you. If it is casual, then there is no attachment to an outcome. If it is casual, then you will know that this relationship is a stepping stone to a future relationship and nothing more than that. In fact, in this experiment taking the first step toward a casual relationship, you cannot look past the next day. You will not allow yourself to imagine anything more into the future other than the next day. You will make no long-term decisions or commitments.

Abandon your rules, your standards, your opinions, and your thoughts of what other people might think about you. This is simply an experiment, so none of that matters. Just take the next offer or make an offer to someone, anyone who will accept your offer. If you can be open and think of this as an experiment, the universe will line you up with the perfect person to have a casual relationship with. The key is not to think past the first step of accepting the invitation or extending an invitation of your own.

With our love,
We are Joshua