Emma Question #5


Hi Joshua,

Today I have been trying to analyze the fear I have in regards to the guy not replying to me fast enough, and have been hitting & moving through different layers of fear. The first was me being attached to the specific outcome of the scenario I have dreamed up in my mind with this guy. Secondly, it was me really wanting this to happen as evidence of the shifts I have made recently and to reassure me that I'm on the right track and things really are happening for me now. The layer of fear I have just hit now is the actual meaning I take from this guy taking ages to reply. I take it to mean that he really isn't that interested in me or getting to know me. That I said the wrong things or I am somehow not good enough. That I am not good enough for the type of guys I actually like. So does this whole manifestation really boil down to a self-worth issue?


Dear Emma,

Why would you care if this guy is interested in you? Why do you want the guys you like to be interested in you? It's because you feel that if they were interested in you, it would prove your worthiness. But guess what. If they were interested in you, then you would have to take it up a notch and find a type that was even more unattainable. It would never stop. You would keep searching and searching and trying to attract all kinds of unattainable men just so you could keep feeling worthy.

Having people interested in you has nothing to do with your worthiness or even who you really are. The only reason you find it interesting in the least is because you attach a label to it and you allow it to make you feel good. The flip side of that coin is that if they are not interested in you then it proves you are not worthy of their interest. That's a difficult game to play.

So we say forget about all that. Certainly it is fun to meet new people and enter and exit relationships in physical reality. But there's no need to attach any meaning to any of it. Just have fun and see what happens. We promise you that it is your vibration that is getting you into situations such as these. You cannot win this game. Try playing a different game. One where you have the decided edge.

Imagine if you were not interested in proving your worthiness through the guy. Imagine if that didn't matter at all. Imagine if the person you chose did not reflect upon you at all. Then you would be free. You would attract someone who was a vibrational match to who you really are, not to the person who believes that beauty infers worthiness. It does not.

Most people choose a mate that will reflect on them well. Most people believe that the person they partner with affects how others view them. It is a status symbol, but status is a fear-based ideal and it usually does not work out as one would hope. When you choose someone because they make you look good, then they are probably also choosing you for the same reason. This generally goes against the laws of the universe because it is a false ideal.

Imagine you wanted to become a pop idol. There are two types of people who choose this ideal. The first is an entertainer who loves being on stage and singing to crowds of people. This act brings them joy and they simply want to be on stage singing to as many people as possible. It is their passion and love. The other type believes that fame will make them feel worthy. They desperately want to become famous so that they can feel good about themselves. However, even if they attain great fame, the outside conditions will not make them feel any better. They will actually feel more unworthy because the fame did not do anything to solve their problem.

If you can take a little time and determine what it is you really want in a mate and a relationship, you will be led to someone who fills out your list perfectly. However, when you place false ideals on this person, in the hopes of him making you feel worthy, you are asking for the conditions to alter the way you feel about yourself. The conditions are simply a mirror to how you feel. It would be like asking the reflection you see in the mirror to smile when you are frowning.

You are worthy. You are unique. You know more about the forces of the universe than most. You have some inside information. Now let it work for you. Think about what you want and than ask why you want it. If you want something because you think it will make you feel worthy, it won't. If you feel worthy, then everything you receive will align with how you feel about yourself. Feel as worthy as you can and then watch to see who shows up.