Emma Question #49


Hi Joshua,

Just wanted to give you an update on the sister situation. I have already been presented with a chance to practice reacting in a different way! Tonight she rang me up and asked if I wanted to have take away dinner with her and my other sister. So they both came around to my house. Instead of acting distant towards her like I might have a few days ago when I was still angry, I let go of that and acted normal, in a happy, loving, accepting way. We had a nice dinner, made each other laugh a fair bit, and just had a nice night! So bring on this family trip away tomorrow - I'm looking forward for more practice at this :)


Dear Emma,

How nice it was to have this opportunity to practice being who you really are (a limitless being of pure positive love and acceptance, in case you forgot) in a comfortable setting free from too many distractions. You were in your own home and you felt secure, confident and powerful. You intended to be loving and accepting. You did not do anything to cause fear, nor did you react to anything in a fearful way. Therefore, without the presence of fear, everything worked out just fine.

Do you realize that it is only fear which can cause you to feel insulted. It is only fear which would cause your sister to be rude. Without fear, you are all a naturally happy and loving family. So were does the fear come from?

The fear comes from your persona. You want to be perceived in a certain way. You have this idea about who you are and we call it your persona. But your persona is not you. It is a false idea of who you think you are. You might believe yourself to be a mix of good and not so good qualities and this becomes your persona. If anyone challenges this idea of who you are, you react due to fear. You feel negative emotion and you allow yourself to drop into a lower emotional state of being. It is from the depth of this level of being that you attract thoughts and ideas that resonate with this lower level and you receive urges to say and do things that do not benefit you. The same is true of your sister, everyone else in your family, and all the rest of the people in your world. Remove the fear and you and everyone else will get along just fine.

If you feel fear, do not react to it in the moment. Learn to brush it off. Realize that it is a false and irrational fear and it is meaningless. You have nothing to lose because there is nothing for you to lose, so you need not be bothered by irrational fear. Do not do or say anything that might cause your sister to feel fear. As long as she is without fear, she will be loving and kind. If she interprets something as an offense, realize that she is just reacting to fear. It is her issue not yours. You do not have to involve yourself in her fears. If she feels fear, she will succumb to her fears and respond to urges she feels. She will say and do things that are not in alignment with who she really is or what she truly wants. Remember, she does not know what she is doing. She does not know how to deal with her emotions. She does not realize that it is her guidance system at work. Give her time to get over her fears and she will eventually go back to being the higher version of herself.

What tends to happen is that one of you will feel fear and respond to urges that cause the other one to feel fear and also respond to urges and this escalates into a fear-based exchange that might last a while. The fear is generally about how you are perceived by the other. You both want to be loved and accepted for who you are, but you are also afraid to reveal who you really are. If you did not feel fear, you could be your authentic self and not really care what the other one thought of you.

Let's take a look at a fictional scenario: your sister is inspired to ask you if you have found a boyfriend. This is in direct response to your insecurities in this area. It is the universe placing you into a manifestation event so that you can isolate and deal with a certain fear. If you can deal with this fear, you will move one step closer to the manifestation of your desire. Since you have some insecurities around this subject, you feel fear in the form of negative emotion and this causes you to drop into a lower emotional state of being. From this position you receive thoughts that correspond to how you are feeling. Your ego goes into action to defend your persona and you receive the idea that your sister is wrong for prying into your private life. How dare she.

You respond by attacking something she is insecure about (possibly her current mate, or lack of one) and this brings up her fears. She then finds herself dropping into a low emotional state of being and this causes her to receive urges and compulsion to say or do things that are not aligned with who she really is (a limitless being of pure positive love and acceptance, in case you forgot). From this point on, you hurt each other's feelings and you allow yourself to linger in a low emotional state for days. It is more intense when it comes from someone close to you because you think they should be different than they are and there's a lot of momentum there.

In order to successfully create, build, and maintain any relationship, pay attention to the fear. Remove the possibility of fear when possible. Understand that when you feel negative emotion, it is simply irrational fear and is therefore false and release the fear in the moment. Understand that if another person feels fear, they will react to it too. Do not feed into it by reacting yourself. Remain neutral. Let them recover from the fear even if it seems irrational to you, because to them it is very real. They do not know what you know. You can resolve all conflicts by eliminating the fear in the room. Remove the fear and all that remains is love and acceptance.

With our love and acceptance of you,
We are Joshua