Emma Question #18


Hi Joshua,

I have still been trying to practise fully accepting myself the way I am, but I haven't fully got there yet. When I strip away my appearance and outside achievements and just imagine a guy liking me for the person I am, I find this hard to believe. I keep seeing myself as a boring and dull person. I know these thoughts aren't true and try to soften them by saying things to myself like - "How could I even have friends who want to hang out with me if I was a dull and boring person?" But I'm still finding it hard to see myself from another perspective. Can you offer me some advice on how to start seeing myself as awesome for just being me?


Dear Emma,

Who you really are is the most fabulous version of you. You are assuming a role that is less than who you are. You have been using the outside conditions to perceive who you are. But the outside conditions are simply a reflection of how you feel about yourself. You can't look at anything outside yourself to gain validation, because the outside is just a reflection.

When you look around and compare yourself with others, you often see positive aspects that you admire in some people and negative aspects that you do not like in other people. You wish to be more like those you admire, but in doing so you judge yourself as inferior in some way. Maybe they are smarter, funnier, more adventurous, more attractive, or whatever. However, they are simply trying to move through physical reality just as you are. They really haven't figured anything out. They are no more special than you. They are no more worthy than you. In fact, they are probably even more fooled by the illusion of physical reality than you are.

When you observe people that you think are succeeding, you must look closer. What are they really doing? Are they trying to coerce the conditions and make things happen because they are reaching for some sense of validation from those around them? If so, they are merely seeking ways to feel worthy. They do not recognize their own worthiness so they try to justify their existence by pursuing the goals your society deems worthy. However, when one chases arbitrary goals instilled by as fearful society, one cannot find worthiness. It is a fruitless endeavor.

So that brings us back to why you are here. Why did you enter this incarnation as Emma? Why did you choose your parents, the time and place of your birth, and your physical body? What did you come here to explore? Was it the feeling of worthiness? No, you are already worthy. Was it to make money, find a good-looking make, be the center of attention, be idolized, or any of that? No, you are already worthy. You do not need to prove your worthiness to others. All you need to do is be who you are. All you can do is be your authentic self.

You are self-contained. Do you know what that means? It means that everything you want and need can be found within. Nothing you need exists outside of you. You are the projector, not the observer. You are the creator. You came to create. What did you come to create? The reality of Emma.

Before your birth, you set certain intentions. Most of those were general. You intended to be free, experience abundance, be happy, feel joy, and expand through experience. One or more of your intentions was more specific. We can not tell you what these are because that would set you off on a new trajectory. The trajectory you chose is the one that will lead you were you want to go. It led you to us and so you can know you are moving along quite nicely.

You did not come here to prove yourself to anyone. So this is what you must first understand before you can move forward. Certainly, insecurity exists within everyone. But the insecurity is just an irrational fear based on observations of others. There is no need to be insecure about who you are. You are a limitless being of pure positive love and acceptance. You are eternal. You are unique. You are worthy. You are perfect as you are an evolving every day. That's the truth of who you are and who everyone else is. No one needs to prove their worthiness to anyone. The point is moot.

Why would you want others to see you differently than you are? You want to be interesting, but we do not see how you could be more interesting than you already are. You are fascinating. You are just looking for validation in your outside world. Others react to you in exactly the way you feel about yourself. They are not really reacting that way at all, it's simply your perception of their reaction that causes you to believe something that is not even remotely accurate.

The only thing that will work is for you to see who you truly are from the inside and not from the outside. Believe that you have all the qualities you desire and that will literally become the reality. There's nothing more to it than that. You can think of yourself as the most wonderful human being on the planet and others will respond to you as the most wonderful human being on the planet. That's just how the system works. You don't have to prove it to them, all you have to do is believe it.

Now, imagine that you are the most wonderful human being on the planet. What would that look like? Would you seek idolization or would you find positive aspects in everyone else? Would you seek fame and fortune or would you be a shining example of alignment? Would you seek to be loved by the masses or would you express your love to the masses? Would you seek the validation of others or would you choose to validate others? Would you compare yourself to anyone?

Your current approach to life seeks to be reassured by the outside conditions. The new approach to life asks you to find reassurance inside yourself and not to concern yourself with the outside conditions. Everything you want is created internally. It is an inside job. You cannot look to others for assurances. They cannot give it. It is not possible. Let's give you an example.

In this moment you feel good about yourself. You believe you are nice, you are a good person, you are attractive, you are intelligent, and you are happy. However, you believe that you would be happier with a mate and so you birth a desire for a mate. Now, the mate you seek must make you feel good about yourself. When your mother says you're attractive, you do not hear her because her opinion does not count. When an average guy pays attention to you, you are annoyed by him because his attention does not make you feel any better about yourself. When an attractive guy becomes interested in you, you feel good because he makes you feel better.

Notice the negative emotion you felt in response to the average guy's interest in you. What does that mean? It means that you are choosing a perspective that is not beneficial. His attention should make you feel good, but it makes you feel annoyed. This is a sign that you are not agreeing with the perspective that your inner self maintains. It means you are off course. When you feel positive emotion in reaction to the attractive guy's interest, it means you are aligned with how your inner self sees the situation. If you were fully aligned with your inner self, you would feel positive emotion no matter who showed interest. You would accept it all as a compliment. However, it would not make you feel worthy, it would just make you feel aligned. Alignment is the key here. Are you an example of alignment or do you move in and out of alignment depending on your perception of the external conditions?

Alignment is the consistant agreement between you and your inner self. It means that you feel worthy as who you are because you chose it all. Any time you feel less than the fullness of who you really are, you are practicing resistance. You are resisting who you really are because you are choosing to look to the outside conditions and in response you are judging yourself to be less than the fullest version of who you really are. We understand the illusion is strong, but you know too much now. It is now time for you to adopt a new approach to life.

From this point forward, when you look at the conditions outside yourself and judge them as wrong, you must giggle a bit. The outside conditions are your creation and are a perfect representation of how you feel. If you want them to be different, you must reach for new and better feelings. This is how the system works. You can't observe something and feel bad about it without knowing that it is a representation of some feeling you have or it is the thing that will get you to move in the direction of that which you want. It is either of those things (or both) but it is never bad or wrong.

If you continue to look to the outside world for validation of your worthiness, you'll never find it. It's like the donkey with a carrot attached to a string held out in front of him. You will never catch up to that carrot. It simply is not possible.

If we were in your physical life living as Emma, we would approach life a little differently. We would pretend we were worthy. We would know we were unique because that would be obvious. Is there anyone else named Emma sleeping in your bed? We would assume that the world would reflect how we felt about ourselves and everything else. We would assume that the universe is molding us into a slightly altered version of Emma, so that we would be a vibrational match to what we desire. We would enter manifestation events knowing that certain beliefs must be modified. We would be curious. We would allow our beliefs to be malleable. We would never look outside ourselves for any validation, but for clues to how we are feeling.

We would go with the flow of life assuming that everything is always working out for us. We would be interested in coincidences. We would release our attachment to specific outcomes, because we understand that from out physical position, our perspective is limited. We would focus on the positive aspects of our current conditions because we know that the focus of our attention brings us more of those things.

We would pay attention to our emotions and sort out the negative from the positive. We would analyze our fears and limiting beliefs. We would set intentions before any event knowing that this helps us to elevate our perspective and keeps us in alignment. But most of all, we would strive to feel good in every moment and from a place of feeling good, we would pay attention to inspiration.

We would never see anything as bad or wrong. Instead we would practice seeing everything as good and right. We have our preferences, that is true, but we would leave the things we do not like for others who may derive some benefit from these things. You might call us Pollyanna, but we would believe that we are interesting, fun, enchanting, exciting, intelligent, generous, loving, appreciative, attractive and caring. If we thought that way about ourselves, we would assume that we would attract others who appreciate those qualities.

With our endless love for who you are as Emma in this moment,
We are Joshua