Emma Question #17


Hi Joshua,

Earlier in the year, I put an intention out there to discover a diet or way of eating that I really believe will work for me, and that is easy for me to implement and stick to. The whole time I had been practicing loving my body the way it was also. I was still eating foods I perceived as bad for me often though, like cakes and desserts and stuff. But in the middle of the year, 3 weeks before my friend's wedding, I decided I HAD to eat healthy to make sure I fitted into my bridesmaid dress.

When I stopped eating these naughty foods I suddenly felt happy about what I was eating again and it must have been a shift for me, because a couple of days later I came across some videos by a smart lady who was explaining how she lost weight and kept it off. Because she explained the neuroscience behind how her way of eating works, I really believed this was a diet that would work for me. So I started this particular diet (no sugar or flour, and only eating 3 meals a day, no snacking) and started losing a lot of weight. It's been around 5 months now and I am still sticking to it easily, and have lost 30lb.

I'm really happy with this way of eating and feel like I can stick to it indefinitely. But the thing I wanted to ask you is, do you think it's possible for me to one day reach the place of truly believing flour and sugar are not bad for me, therefore being able to eat them whenever I feel like it with no adverse effects? I really do get a lot of joy out of eating yummy desserts and breads and pasta. I would like to be able to eat them one day without feeling any guilt or believing they'll make me fat!


Dear Emma,

The way you manifested the lean and healthy body you have now, is the way to manifest anything you desire. You set an intention. You had a strong desire. You went at it from a good-feeling state of being. You loved your body (the conditions) as they were and you focused on the feeling of something you wanted. Excellent! That approach clearly works within the laws of the universe as we know them. By this approach, you were led to information that was specifically tailored to your set of beliefs and your unique perception of reality. And it worked!

This is how everything works. This is how the system is designed. If you can achieve this, you can achieve anything. So then, what really happened?

You have a set of beliefs about food. You were inspired to watch certain videos and the way these videos were delivered synced up with your unique set of beliefs. This allowed you to not only find a diet that was right for you, but to enjoy this specific way of eating and find it all very easy. Had you worried about losing weight because you didn't like your body, you might have taken action on your own and tried a diet that could not possibly work. It would have been difficult and frustrating. Since you intentionally moved along a path from a place of feeling good, you were led to information that was a perfect fit for you.

Now you think you might have a new desire. You enjoy the body you are creating, yet you miss certain aspects of eating. You know you can have, be, and do anything you want in this reality. You can have the body you desire and eat all the cakes you want to eat. How is this possible? Anything is possible in this reality if you believe it. Can you come to believe it? Certainly, but the question is how?

You have a set of beliefs about food. Most of them are very beneficial and some are a little limiting. Your beliefs that you cannot maintain an ideal weight if you eat flour and sugar is limiting because it limits your enjoyment of these foods. However, when you do eat a piece of cake, isn't that experience so much more elevated. Doesn't the cake taste so much better? Do you feel even more pleasure? Or do you feel guilty? This is the paradox caused by your belief system and so you need a device.

A device is something that will allow you to overcome your fears and suspend the negative influence of a limiting belief. For instance, you believe that you will die if you jump out of an airplane and so you use a device called a parachute. The reality is that you could jump out of a plane without a parachute and live if you truly believed it. Since you are not likely to believe that, you strap on a parachute and then you jump out. So all you need to do is find a device.

We suggest the device called experimentation. Work with the beliefs you do have rather than trying to eradicate them. Once you have a belief, it is with you always. All you can do is reduce the intensity of your beliefs. Start with the premise that lots of very skinny people eat flour and sugar without ever gaining an ounce. Notice that there is nothing physiological happening, it's all in their beliefs. They believe that eating cake and ice cream have no effect on their weight and so they don't even think about it. You have a strong belief that these affect your weight and so for you, they do. Let's modify those beliefs through experimentation.

Live your life for a few days eating well and enjoying your life without sugar and flour. Notice how good you feel. Taste the food and enjoy it as you eat it but also notice how you feel a few minutes after you have eaten. How do you feel about yourself? Do you feel proud? Do you feel like you accomplished something good? Excellent. Now plan a meal that includes flour and sugar.

Let's say you are going to eat a slice of cake. Set aside one of your three meals and eat only the cake. Enjoy it fully as you eat it. Enjoy every last bite. Then notice how you feel after giving yourself permission to eat the cake. How do you feel a few minutes after? How does your body feel? Does it feel good? Do you feel good? Do you feel pride or shame? It's the feelings you have that matter. Your body will always become a match to those feelings. Your body is in complete alignment with how you feel about yourself. If you feel proud and good, your body easily takes it natural shape because it is fully allowing well-being to flow. If you feel shame, then your body must reflect that feeling.

So all you need to know is how you feel.

If you can feel proud about eating cake, then you will have no adverse influence on your body. But if you continue to feel any other negative emotion, you will always cut yourself off from well-being and your body will morph into some reflection of that. It is always, always about the feeling and never about the thing itself.

With our love and gratitude,
We are Joshua