Hi Joshua,
In my question #19 I shared with you the physical sensation that I had felt whilst meditating.
A week or so after this, that sensation came really powerfully and I was inspired to reach for my phone and record what I was inspired to say in case I was channeling (like Gary does with you). I recorded a couple of minutes of fairly general but loving messages. Since then I realise that I have not really felt that sensation in that same way again and not tried to record anything.
I feel like all my energy has been poured into my work. My productivity and outputs have gone through the roof as I manage an ever growing workload. Part of me is thinking that this is a sign that I have become greater at allowing and going with the flow (I also get more compliments and a sense of increased worthiness from my colleagues). But a part of me is also wondering how much more I can cope with this pace.
The allowing is also mixed with some conflicts and fears, obviously, because I have a sense of being strained. I feel like a coiled spring at the end of a working day (like right now).
I'm wondering whether this is affecting the quality of my mediation, and what I should do to turn it around? Maybe, I just need a holiday!
With love,
Arnaud
Dear Arnaud,
Imagine you are floating gently down a calm river at a slow pace. You enjoy the view as it drifts past, but soon you become impatient and bored and so you wish for the river to pick up a bit of speed. Soon you find yourself in the rapids and you feel fear. You now long for the calmer waters. However, as you descend through the rapids, you feel the exhilaration that comes from facing your fear. The river is calmer now, but flowing quite quickly and you are enjoying your ride. Soon you find yourself in a new set of rapids, but you notice that your fear is less intense and you enjoy the fast waters and the thrill of the ride. As you maneuver yourself down the river in faster waters spiked with even more rapids, you wonder how much more you can handle. You question your capabilities. Then you realize that it is all fear. There is no limit to what you can achieve. There are no rapids that you cannot handle.
You have a sense of who you are with regard to your work. As you increase your opinion of yourself, you find the work flowing more easily and you are capable of handling more. You start to receive praise, not due to your increased productivity and performance, but as a mirror to how you feel about yourself. The better you feel, the more you are capable of doing, achieving and enjoying. You notice the shift and a question comes to mind; "How far can this go? How much can I do? What am I really capable of?" The answer; you cannot even begin to imagine the extent of your greatness.
You are far more than you can imagine. What you are experiencing now is just the tip. This is a tiny fraction of what you are capable of doing when you get into alignment and flow the power and the force of the universe though every fiber of your being into the reality that you perceive as real. Again, it is not real. It is an illusion. You are making it all up. Why not create something truly spectacular? Why not see how far you can take this? What do you have to lose? Absolutely nothing.
You cannot lose. You cannot fail. That is impossible. All you can do is maintain your alignment or not. All you can do is focus on what is wanted, what is appreciate, what you are grateful for, or the lack of all that. There is a choice to make. See yourself and everyone else as good or bad. See everything as working out for you or against you. See yourself as the absolute creator of your reality or as the ultimate victim of fate. If you are the creator of your reality (and indeed you are) then everything that exists in your reality is part of that creation. You create it all. What are you accepting? What are you demanding? if you create your reality, what do you want? Why do you want it?
If you want it because you think it would be fun, interesting, and exciting, then that is a wonderful desire and you should not stop until you become a vibrational match to it. You must not let any fear dissuade you. You must push past fear and take whatever action you are inspired to take.
However, if the desire is simply to prove yourself good, then don't bother. It is not possible to gain the proof or validation of your worthiness in the outside world. You will never be able to convince others you are good. No matter what you do, they cannot reflect that back to you unless you believe it first. If you believe it, then there's no need to prove it to others. If you need to prove it, then you don't believe it. Do you see how the system works?
You are capable of a million times more than you think you are. You simply are not yet a vibrational match to it. You have become more of a match in the past few weeks because you believe yourself to be more. Keep believing. Keep pushing up your opinion of yourself. Keep focused on being the magnificent being of love and acceptance you are. Push the limits of your unlimited nature. Expect more. Go for more. Do more and more and more. Ask for more. Expect more. Want more. The ideas will come. Push past the fear and act when inspired. The solutions will come. The flow will come. See yourself as more and more and more magnificent, powerful and limitless and you won't believe where that will take you. It will take you to places you have never imagined you would ever go. That's what you want. That's what's in store for you. All you have to do is believe you are worthy of it. Here's a secret; you are!
With our love,
We are Joshua
