Allyson Question #55

 

Dear Joshua,

Today I heard a podcast that included comments around the use of "just saying" "I'm sorry."

Can you please explain this ... When would one use it? Why would one use it? How would one use it?

I just wrote a few questions and I'm guessing that maybe I could have use "I'm sorry" somewhere along the line!

Thank you,
Allyson


Dear Allyson,

This is a conversation about conflict. We believe that there is never any value in creating or maintaining conflict with another person or even yourself. When you find yourself being verbally attacked, you tend to defend yourself. In doing so, you make the other person wrong. They are not wrong and you are not wrong either. It's just that from your perspective, you are perceiving an attack. It's usually a perceived attack on your persona (that false idea of who you are). Your ego rises up in defense of the persona. It is not necessary, because the persona is false, it is not who you really are, and you do not need to defend it. If someone is angry or frustrated and they try to take it out on you by saying something, you can simply resolve the conflict, then and there, by saying the following: "You're right, I'm sorry.

This idea might seem unreasonable to you. You might really believe that you must stand your ground and defend your position. But that strategy does not work and simply goes against the rules of this mechanism of reality. You see, you believe that everyone sees things in pretty much the same way you do. You believe that your perception of reality is just about the same as everyone else's. In reality, everyone has a unique perception of their reality. This is the basis of the system of physical reality. It is designed so that each person can view the world from a completely unique perspective; one that has never been experienced before. If you look at the world around you, the one outstanding feature is that every single thing in this reality is unique, including the way you view life.

There is no wrong anywhere in the universe. You cannot be wrong from your perspective and neither can anyone else. When you think someone else is wrong, all you have to do is look at it from their perspective and you'l be able to see that they could be right. Other people will occasionally think you are being wrong and they will not be able to see the subject from your perspective, so they will attempt to make you wrong and change your perspective. This rarely works. You might never be able to change the perspective of someone else. This is what leads to conflict. The conflict is not useful or enjoyable because all conflict is based in fear. Diminish the intensity of the conflict by simply stating; "you're right, I'm sorry." That statement is based in love.

You can't really win and argument, all you can do is make someone wrong. When you do that, you cause them (and often yourself) to dip into a lower emotional state of being. That is operating out of fear. When you allow them to be however they are being, and you do your part to end the conflict, you operate out of love. In doing this, you maintain your alignment and remain in love and acceptance. This allows you to engage universal forces for the direct benefit of yourself and everyone else. This is where your true power lies.

You might think that you will be taken advantage of if you do not stand your ground. This is not true. You receive a reality based on who you are being. If you are being in love, you receive a reality that reflects that and you can never be taken advantage of. Only in fear can you create a reality where you might perceive that you could be taken advantage of. Conflict is fear and conflict resolution is love. All you have to be aware of is fear and love. Leave fear out of it and promote love at all times. This love energy will start to permeate your life when you give up the old approach of control and stop worry about standing your ground or maintaining your persona.

With our love,
We are Joshua

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