Dear Joshua,
I've thought and asked questions around similar issues, but I was just inspired to write this one, this way.
I have not heard back from a very dear friend after writing many emails. She treated me to a wonderful weekend to celebrate my birthday. I've sent thank you notes and photos and updates on what I did with her gift. I had left a nice note in her suitcase as well - a handwritten note.
So ... running with the fear that I said something wrong or didn't say something I was supposed to ... I know better. But I have to admit that I keep wondering "what did I do that has caused her to write back?"
What's in this FOR me?
If I said something to her and she was offended - a) why didn't she call me on it and b) I would assume the statement I said to her was FOR her. And now, I guess this is something for me... but I can't figure it out.
No wrong in the Universe. I can't create in her reality. I create my reality. Why would I do or say something (unknowingly) to cause her to not respond? I have thought about calling but I admit to being scared. Why would I be scared? Because then I might found out I hurt her feelings, or something - but of course, I have no idea. I have not been "inspired" to call. The notes I have written were all inspired.
So what's up with Allyson & her friend.
Thank you!
Allyson
Dear Allyson,
Let's start by talking about inspiration. You were inspired to write notes and send photos. You say that was inspired, but your were not inspired to call her and find out what is wrong. You thought about it, but you felt fear and so you did not call. Don't you see that the "thought" is the inspiration. How could you receive the thought in the first place? What makes you think the thought wasn't inspiration? Because you felt fear and so you assume that it was not inspiration. However, that is a false premise.
Inspiration comes and sometimes you feel just a little fear and sometimes you feel a lot of fear. When you wrote the note and sent the photos, you had fear. It was a little fear. You did think about her response to your note and what you would write. You hoped you would write the right words and she would be pleased with the note. There was fear there, but it was so minute that you could easily talk yourself through it. You knew that sending a thank you note was a nice thing to do and you assumed she would appreciate it. After all, who's writing hand-written notes these days? That was inspiration to act and you pushed past all the little fears and acted on that inspiration.
You also had the inspiration to call her, but you are afraid to find out what you did. Now, why in the world would this fear be so big that it causes you not to call your friend? What are you afraid of? What could possibly be the fear that causes you to stop from taking the action you are inspired to take?
Do you still not believe that the thought to call her was inspired? Well, of course it was. When you think of inspiration, you simply have to determine if the inspired idea lines up with who you really are and what you truly want. You are a being of love. You want to express your love. What you truly want is for all your friends to feel loved. You believe that you might have said something to make her feel unloved. Well, if you truly want her to feel love, then you want her to feel love now and this idea is in perfect alignment with who you really are. Now, what's the fear? Is it rational or irrational? If your friend is not going to kill you, then this fear is irrational. If the fear is irrational, then it is false and limiting. All you have to do is realize that and look at how the fear is limiting you from being who you really are. You can do the work to reduce the intensity of this fear and you can push past it.
Do you really want this friendship to end because you are too fearful to do what you know you must do? You are a magnificent and limitless being of love and acceptance. You did nothing wrong, for there is no wrong anywhere in the universe. You ask how this is for you? So that you can see how fear limits you from receiving all that you want. If you can push through this fear, you will have proven to the universe that you cannot be limited by irrational fear.
Always do what you are inspired to do. If the idea is in alignment with who you really are and what you really want, then the idea is inspired. Fear will always, always pop up when contemplating the action you are inspired to take. Sometimes the fear is so small you do not even notice it. Sometimes it's a bit more intense. But it need not stop you from acting. You can analyze the fear. You can process the fear. You can realize the fear is irrational. Once you have determined that a fear is irrational and the idea is aligned with who you really are and what you truly want, then you can also know that if you take this action, it will be for your highest good and everything will work out.
With our love,
We are Joshua
