Dear Joshua,
You summed up a great answer (of which I caught much of but will have to re-read many more times) with this: "We hope this answer inspires you to think differently about yourself and to ask us another question to clarify your concept of perfection." That wasn't what I was going to ask you about as I sat to write a question, but I've switched gears and I'm going with the flow!
I have always strived to be perfect - but not in the way you are teaching me to understand it. Not even close! When I gained my wicked step-mother, I sure was asking for some huge lessons, all that now seems to have appeared at the time to have taken me backwards, but I certainly know that I would have no idea how far I've come if I hadn't experienced that time in my life. Suffice to say she tore me down so low that I was convinced I was an absolute fool for even living. But I don't dwell on that because I've come to know so much and I've 'proved' her so wrong. I'm an expert at so many things she said I could never achieve, etc. and I hope she's there with you smiling at my success. Anyway - part of that time in life was an absolute struggle to be 'perfect': Do everything anyone said to do. Do all things better than another. Do anything asked of me. All for others and nothing for myself (outside of the false belief that this made me a good person).
So moving from DOING to Prove Perfection to simply believing in Perfection is a tough call. How about a meditation to help us believe in our Perfection.
What's my question? Control/Perfection Are you saying that being something other than my authentic self (pretending perfection/pleasing) is a shining example of someone in or doing control? I'm not sure I even know what I'm asking so I will let you go with the flow. How's that for letting go? Thank you, as always--lots of love,
Allyson
Dear Allyson,
Your step-mother is smiling and she is with us now as we write our answer. From her perspective, she is absolutely delighted with the way things turned out and would not change a thing. From your perspective, you might well judge that her approach to you was wrong. From her perspective and ours, it was perfect, because it was the role you asked her to play so that you could pile on a bunch of limiting beliefs and then spend the rest of your life processing them. Now that is perfection.
You came here with a set of intentions. The vast majority of your intensions were general in nature, as you know. You intended to experience joy, happiness, freedom, love, abundance, etc. You also came to explore this idea of perfection/control/ worthiness. Your step-mother did a wonderful job of causing you to birth some great desires, which led to the persona you've created and also added to your vibration so that you could go out and make things happen in order to prove her wrong. Had it not been for her, you would not have had these desires and you would not have accomplished so much. Let's give credit where credit is due.
Now you come to a place where you can take the idea of perfection and place it on its head. You can't prove your perfection in the outside conditions. That's simply a reflection of how you feel. If you feel worthy, your reality reflects that back to you by giving you experiences where you feel worthy. It's just a mirror. You are self-contained and everything you want already exists inside you. Once you tap into that and do the work to feel what you want to feel, your reality will reflect your new vibration.
Let's talk about what perfection really is. Think about yourself as a baby. When you were born, on the day of your birth, can you see how you were perfect as you were? Now, looking at that baby, could the baby become any better? Would it matter if the baby could walk, talk, be funny, drive a car, or earn a living? No. You, as a baby were perfect. Nothing would make you more perfect. Does that make sense? If you are perfect as a baby, could anything cause you to become imperfect? No. Not only does that make no sense at all, but it's not within the realm of possibility. You don't suddenly go from perfect to imperfect.
However, when you got a little older, your parents (and your step-mother) felt fear. They looked at you and you caused them to feel fear. Do you know what the fear was? A lot of it had to do with how they were perceived by others as good, upstanding people and part of that was how they raised children. The only evidence of their quality as parents, which was tied to their personas, was you. If you were good, they could feel confident that other people would judge their parenting skills as good. Since they defined themselves by their persona, anytime they felt fear, their egos would rush to defend the persona by making you conform to every demand.
Again, this was your intention. You chose all of them, your step-mother included, so that you could be launched on a very specific trajectory. You came here to better understand this dynamic and you are up to your eyeballs in it. Now it is time for you to radically change your approach to life. You are never defined by any outside condition. That is all a fabrication and is inauthentic. Who you really are is a limitless being of pure positive love and acceptance and you cannot be defined by anything outside of that. A limitless being transcends definition.
You were perfect as a baby. Any perceived imperfection was caused by an illusion that was created out of fear. You were perfect every step of the way. You are perfect now. You might evolve into an expanded version of you, but you will always be perfect, just like the little baby you were on the day you were born.
Get used to thinking about yourself differently, because as you do, everything is going to change.
With our love,
We are Joshua
