Dear Joshua,
What a meaningful answer to my question about vulnerability! I'll be re-reading many times, perhaps a little meditation on it as well.
You stated, "Remove your wall, lower your defenses, and open up, just a bit. You will find that might feel a little scary or awkward at first, but you will also find it to be liberating."
While I can sense the potential feeling of liberation, I do see it as scary. Are there steps or a process, maybe even a game, that I can use to move through a situation -- when I become aware that I am putting my wall up and shutting someone out? Of course, I know I have to be aware of it first, but I'm working on it!
Then you wrapped up with: "The more confidence gained by becoming vulnerable and authentic, the less you will rely on your wall. You will find it more interesting to be your authentic self, rather than hiding behind some unnecessary defense mechanism. There is some momentum there, but the fact that you have even asked this question shows us a willingness to approach life from a stance of love and trust, rather that fear and defensiveness."
This is wonderful. Thank you!
And my mind gets it. And then I say to myself, "what? how?" If I hear you right: I am consciously working on my authenticity. Then with my being more authentic, will I 'notice' my vulnerablness and be able to act more from a place of love and less from fear? Not sure if that makes sense.
Love to hear your further guidance on this topic.
Thank you again and again!
Allyson
Dear Allyson,
That's exactly right. As you become aware of your defenses rising to block someone out, you will understand what it is you are doing. Since you have the desire to be open and vulnerable, you will be placed in situations that give you the opportunity to see how you are being. These are called manifestation events and when you notice your walls going up, or you feel negative emotion (fear), you will know that you are in a manifestation event. The event is not to cause you distress, it is designed to give you the opportunity to look at your fear, analyze it, determine if it is rational or not, and if it is an irrational fear, then you can find proof that it is false and this will reduce the intensity of the fear and the limiting belief on top of it.
When you're in a situation and you notice the wall going up, you might be able to understand what you're doing and then actively drop your defenses. While this is certainly possible, there is some momentum there and we might agree that you will look back on the situation after the fact and then perform your analysis. The momentum might just carry you forward and cause you to raise your walls due to your habit of protection. This is all based on the limiting belief that you need to protect yourself. However, what are you protecting yourself from? Simply negative emotion.
The reason you put up barriers is due to your fear of loss. You don't want to open up because you fear you can lose something. This is an attractive universe. Once you have something, you can't really ever lose it. It sticks to you in some form or another. So take a look at what you think you could lose by being vulnerable, and then realize that the fear of loss around that is irrational and therefore, false.
Your awareness of this habit and fear is half the work. Just by birthing the desire to be open and by being aware in those instances where you shut down, you'll see how unnecessary that all is. The awareness causes you to consciously choose a perspective that you prefer. You can choose the limited perspective based in fear or the higher perspective based in love and faith. It is always working out for you. You are a limitless being and you can remove the limitations caused by fear, simply by practicing the analysis of fear.
With our love for you,
We are Joshua
