Dear Joshua,
I have a theory - I deliberately setup my life so that around junior high school I would create major "worthiness" issues and then spend the rest of my life trying to feel my worthiness again. Was this to appreciate the feeling of worthiness? Because if I always felt worthy, it would feel normal and I wouldn't appreciate it nearly as much?
Also, I find it interesting that intellectually I totally know that I'm worthy - unique and eternal, but on an emotional level I still don't "feel" worthy and I still look for fake external signs to gauge my worthiness.
How do I learn to "know" my complete worthiness and lose the false external worthiness? I know my worthiness is there and I feel I'm much closer to truly knowing this than I've ever been.
Thanks!
Steve
Dear Steve,
When you exist in the nonphysical, you know your own worthiness and you can't comprehend not knowing that. In this incarnation as Steve and in all of the previous incarnations you have experienced the feeling of unworthiness to various degrees. Everyone in every incarnation has experienced the feeling of unworthiness. It is a universal aspect of physical reality and it is a desired feeling. As you know, it is beneficial to feel less than who you really are and then to move forward to becoming who you really are. Who you are not is one who is unworthy. Who you really are is one who is worthy.
Now, this incarnation of Steve experiences a completely new and unique feeling of unworthiness; one that has never been felt before. You, through your many life experiences and your many experiences in this life get the opportunity to examine the subject of unworthiness in great detail. Think of how you view a great work of sculpture. As you move around the sculpture, you can see it from many different angles. As you live many different lives you see this subject (and many other subjects) from countless new and unique angles. This brings you to higher and higher levels of mastery. And guess what? You'll never truly overcome the feeling of unworthiness in your physical body no matter how many lives you live. All you ever do is become better and better at understanding it and moving past it to becoming who you really are.
So when we tell you that you are completely worthy, we are using our words and words don't teach. You understand subjects through your personal experiences. However, our words may allow you to see your life in the context of worthiness from a higher perspective. This is also a new aspect to this subject and one that allows you to decipher it in a whole new way.
Imagine feeling unworthy yet knowing you are completely worthy. This is a new way to feel. This brings up new issues to deal with. Does this help or hinder your expansion? On the one hand you know from an intellectual level that you are truly worthy, on the other hand you feel less worthy as you attempt to put what you know into practice.
Yes, this is an issue with you but it is also an issue with every one else. Yes, you feel like you're making progress and you also feel like you're regressing. This is part of the design. It's uncomfortable, but that is to be expected. All you have to do is practice feeling worthy and you'll smooth out the bumps along the way.
You are as worthy as you decide you want to be.
Joshua
