Steve Question #68

 

Dear Joshua,

I know it's really not important what others think about me, but here is my question - There are people in my life that I know like and respect me, think I'm smart, etc. and then there are people who I know don't like me. Then there's the middle ground where there are people who I'm not really sure what they think about me. But here's the rub. It's my universe, right? Therefore don't I define what others think about me based on my belief and expectation of how I think that person thinks about me? And can't I change that belief? So someone who doesn't like me could end up liking me with just a change in my belief system?

Thanks!
Steve


Dear Steve,

You are absolutely correct. It's your belief about what they think of you that really dictates how they think of you. You are the one who creates this belief and you can change that belief anytime you want.

We will start by asking you to look at this subject from the higher perspective. Would you prefer that everyone love and adore you? Would you want everyone to think about you in exactly the same way? Wouldn't that be boring? If everyone loved you, could you possibly grow? Isn't it really the vast array of opinions that allows you to create who you really are? That's the higher perspective.

What makes one's opinion of you good or bad? Wouldn't it be better if you could simply appreciate the fact that all of the opinions were valid, were right, and were there to support you in your journey to becoming who you really are? When you see someone who likes you and you judge that to be a good thing and you see someone who doesn't like you and you judge that to be a bad thing, you are reverting back to a dualistic view of the world. As you have progressed through these interactions with us, you are becoming one who sees your world in a neutral way. You are understanding that there is no good or bad, that everything is valid and therefore it's all good.

Trust us when we say that you want a variety of opinions about you. This is how you can feel your way to the higher version of you. These opinions are of great benefit to your growth and evolution. By understanding how others are feeling about you, by paying close attention to their perspective and point of view, you can better understand how you are operating in your environment.

Now, let's step back a bit and realize that you have no idea how anyone feels about you. They don't really know either. When someone interacts with you, they combine their vibration with yours in the moment. They come with preconceived opinions of you and you come with your own set of ideas about them. As you interact, in the moment, you also have your present tone or mood and they have theirs. This all combines to make for a co-creative interaction. If you feel any emotion in the interaction, you are having a manifestation event and the interaction is meaningful.

Let's say you stop off to get a cup of coffee on your way to work. You stand in line and when it's your turn you order your coffee, the person behind the counter takes your order. If you feel no emotion then this is not a manifestation event and you take your coffee and sit down to drink it. Then you hear someone call your name. You look up and see someone you know and you feel negative emotion. This is a manifestation event.

The person comes over and is very nice and happy to see you. You, however, remember something that happened in the past and you don't want him to come over. He has forgotten all about it or it never mattered to him. He seems genuinely pleased to see you. Here is a situation where the other person thinks well of you, yet you do not think highly of this person. His goodfeelings about you do not matter to you and he is oblivious about your bad feelings toward him. So, if he doesn't notice that you don't like him, does it even matter to him? If he keeps on thinking you like him, he'll continue to experience positive emotion and alignment. He likes you, but you don't like him and you remain out of alignment.

We can see by this example that it really doesn't matter what others think of you, it only matters what you believe they think about you. It is not necessary to believe that everyone loves you. Rather, by acknowledging what you perceive is their opinion of you, you can realize what you are projecting and from that stance you can know how you are feeling about yourself. It is not the other person's opinion that matters at all. It's your own opinion of you that you are projecting onto that other person. So when you believe that someone does not like you, you are using their persona as a reflection of what you think about yourself. You are using them as a very specific mirror. That is good and is highly useful when you can realize what you're doing, when you doing it.

Let's look at some more examples. Let's say there is a new person in your office who you will train and manage. They are young and eager to learn from you. Here is a specific person in a specific role and their opinion of you is a reflection of how you would perceive who you are being from their perspective. In other words you are imagining yourself in their shoes and you are looking at yourself as perceived if you were that person. So you are a younger version of yourself, new to the job, and you're looking at the present version of yourself. You will think that this young person thinks highly of you as a successful and smart leader because that is how you see yourself from their perspective.

Now, let's say you get a new boss and he is unhappy with some aspect of the business. You are now projecting what you fear about yourself and your own insecurities onto this person. You will perceive his words and actions in a way that lines up with your beliefs about yourself as seen from his perspective. Everything will manifest in this relationship as you alone believe and respond based on those beliefs. He might say things that are perfectly accurate and in a way that takes no issue with you in particular, but you will perceive his words either positively or negatively based on your beliefs about yourself. That's all there is to it.

As you learn to understand what is happening in these situations, you can control how you perceive yourself from the perspective of others and this will allow you to move in the direction of what is wanted. You aren't controlling the perceptions of others by your actions, you are creating the preferred perception of yourself as you see yourself from their perspective.

This takes a great understanding of the mechanism of physical reality. You must know that you are here to expand and you expand through contrast as well as through success. It's one thing to understand this philosophically, it's another thing to put it into practice. One thing you can do is start imagining that all people think you're just fine. Then start to see what transpires from there. You appreciate your ability to see how you're doing as you discover who you're being from their perspective, but now you want to play with this and see what happens. It is not wrong for another have a poor opinion of you (even though you now understand that it's just your opinion of yourself from their specific perspective), but now let's see what it's like to believe they think you're okay. Continue to believe those who love you think you're great and try to imagine that everyone else thinks you're good.

We think you are great!

Joshua

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