Joshua,
My kids got up at 4am again. Why does this keep happening for me?
I'm reminding myself that this is the most loving form of torture possible. I'm reminding myself that I love the shit out of them and am grateful to have them with me. I'm reminding myself that eventually I will look back fondly at these moments and perhaps even miss them.
I've realized that I fear not feeling rested, that I have a belief that without enough sleep, I will feel terrible and they will feel terrible. I have told myself that I am creating all of this and can choose to feel rested on any amount of sleep.
I feel very little relief right now. How can I come to accept these conditions?
With love,
Kyla
Dear Kyla,
We appreciate that you understand that this is happening for you and not to you. We also feel that you realize that they are not inflicting torture on you, you are perceiving it as torture. You are torturing yourself. You are resisting what it is that you want. They are providing it for you, yet you are not aware of it. It's right there in front of you, but your perception (and the perspective you've chosen) makes it appear as if something bad is happening. It is not.
You are trying to control the uncontrollable. You are wanting to create something by changing the conditions. You want them to be different than they are. Why not relax and allow them to be who they want to be right now and do what they want to do right now? You think you know better and this is causing you to believe you should be managing their conditions. If this was accurate, you would have no problem. Isn't that a fact? Your current approach of control is simply not working. It's not effective. It goes against the laws of the universe. It cannot work.
You can't have it both ways. You can't be an allower and a controller at the same time. Choose one. If you choose to be a controller, you'll have to take it all the way. You must set up a dictatorship and manage every movement. Except that you cannot manage the time when they are not with you. Or you can choose to be an allower and give up your control. Who are you to control anything anyway? Why do you feel you are justified in telling these boys what to do and when to do it? You think you know more?Is that it? You think your vibration is higher? You do not know more. They have an inner guidance system. Who do you think is waking them up?
When you sleep, you return to the nonphysical and you refresh yourself. When you wake and return to the physical, you are ready for what the day will bring. It's like you've died and were born again. When you need to return to the nonphysical and refresh yourself again, you will sleep. You might sleep once a day, twice a day, or even three times a day. It all depends on how dense physical reality feels to you. Some need more time in sleep than others. There is a misconception about the purpose and duration of sleep. Like everything else, it is determined on the individual's unique personal needs and nothing else. Everyone is different.
Yes, you may go through some sleep deprived nights until this all gets sorted out. Your children may also be out of sorts until they figure it out, but why not experiment with this in a fun way? Why not let them fall asleep when they feel like it? Why not let them wake up when they are ready? Why not try something different and see how it works? If the allowing experiment does not work, you can always go back to controlling.
With our gleeful appreciation of this very amusing dynamic,
We are Joshua
