Joshua,
I've never been a fan of cleaning. When I was a kid, and my mom would tell me to go clean my room, I would shove everything into a corner and put a blanket over it.
I keep things sanitary, but I am constantly surrounded by clutter. My room, my counters, my car. It's all a mess. I can keep other people's spaces tidy, but I have absolutely no desire to put in the effort to do so with my own.
I would love for all of it to magically clean and organize itself, but I'm clearly not a vibrational match to that because it has yet to happen. So why am I like this? Would I feel better, would I have more clarity if I pared down and kept the stuff I do have picked up?
I realize that I'm perfect exactly as I am, but there's a part of me somewhere inside that still buys into the idea that the state of a person's home reflects on them and that responsible adults don't live with volcanoes of clothing erupting all over their room.
Since I know that's a limiting belief, the idea that my messy room (or counter or car or whatever) reflects on who I am, and that it's utter nonsense unless it's thought of as a reflection of me as a being of pure positive love, what kind of evidence do I look for?
Maybe I try to think of people who love me in spite of my messy room. Or people who I think are awesome that have messy rooms. Or maybe I just reinforce the fact that I'm making all of this up anyway so the state of my room doesn't matter in the slightest. Let me know if I'm getting close. And also let me know what I have to do to become a match to the magical self-cleaning room/counter/car.
Thanks as always for your guidance.
With love,
Kyla
Dear Kyla,
As a limitless being of pure positive love and acceptance, you wish for others to accept you as you are. You are looking for signs of unconditional love. You are a freedomseeking being and you would prefer it if others tried not to change you. You are a little rebellious in this (and some other) areas and you are actually trying to change them as they try to change you. Have you noticed the end result of all this? They have not been able to change you and you have not been able to change them.
So why bother? Why bother asking anyone to love you as you are? Why bother trying to change them so that they will decide to stop trying to change you? Who cares? What's it all about? It's pointless. You can decide to love them even if they are not loving you in the way you would prefer. It is now time for you to accept them and yourself as you are. No one is going to change anyone else. It's just not feasible.
You are who you are and who you are is perfect. Who you are in the next moment is quite different than who you are in this moment even if the two versions of you look similar. You are constantly changing; billions of times per second. You cannot stop changing. Who you are now can be completely different than who you were yesterday, last week, last month, last year, ten years ago, twenty years ago, etc. It doesn't matter. Who you have been need not confine you to any sort of way of being. You can be whoever you want to be today regardless of who you were yesterday. All that attaches you to past versions of you are the concerns for what others may think. Forget them, you can't make them think what you want them to think about you. It just doesn't work this way.
You have an idea of who you are based on what you think other people (parents, ex's, kids, etc.) think of you. You want your parents to think of you in a certain way, your ex to think of you in another way, and your children to think of you in a totally different way. Forget about all that. Just be who you want to be in the moment and free yourself from your self-imposed limitations based on what you think they think of you. You don't know. You can't know. It doesn't matter anyway because they see you through the fuzzy lens of their own perception of reality.
Therefore, you are completely free to make yourself anew each and every day if you want. If you prefer to be messy, then make a mess today. If you prefer to be tidy tomorrow, then wait until tomorrow. You are not any one thing. You are evolving and changing. Never confine yourself to any predetermined characterization. You are a limitless being of pure positive love and acceptance. You mustn't place limitations on limitless beings such as yourself.
You are loved because you are love.
Joshua
