Kyla Question #31

 

Joshua,

Tonight I looked fear in the face and said "Fuck you." I've been doing my best to follow my inspiration, and that landed me at an open mic night. I happened to see an email from Meetup.com suggesting a group I might be interested in called Wichita Open Mic Night. I thought it was funny, since right after the question I sent you about my limiting beliefs around being the center of attention, Jeannette and I had a conversation where I said that maybe I should attend something like that.

So tonight I did. I joined the Meetup group, practiced my songs in the shower, then prepared myself to go meet this group of people and sing my songs for them (but really for me). When I got there, not a single person from the Meetup group was there. The only people there were four friends who had no idea what I was talking about when I asked if they were with the group. They'd come to do some comedy for the open mic night, but since no one else was there, they had written it off and decided to just hang out.

I got a drink (the bar just happened to have Josh wine, which I considered a sign from the universe), and sat down by myself and tried to work up the nerve to do what I'd come there to do. Eventually one of the guys from the other table asked if I'd come to perform, and asked if I'd mind if they did. We all ended up drawing a number to see who'd go when, and I was drawn to go last.

They all did standup comedy, and were hilarious, so I was a little nervous about following all of that with my self-love songs, but I did it anyway. I sang five of my songs, I didn't pass out, I didn't forget any of the words, and I even got a laugh with my "I Am a Badass" song. It was incredible. I stared at the floor pretty much the entire time, but they were still so receptive and one guy even came up to me and told me I was beautiful and said I was brave for doing what I did.

Just like you said I would, I felt exhilarated when I was done. I felt like I could do it again in a heartbeat. All of the potential limiting beliefs that I knew could've held me back...just didn't. I didn't give a shit what any of those strangers thought of me. I came there to sing my songs, and I did it. I didn't worry about how I sounded, I didn't worry about anything, I just got up there and did it. IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

I never in a million years would've guessed that I could do something like that. But I did. So now it feels like the possibilities are endless. Thanks for telling me to listen to my inspiration. Thanks for helping me realize what I came here to explore. And thanks for helping me remember that life can be this freaking cool if I just allow it to be.

You're the best.

With love,
Kyla


Dear Kyla,

When you face your fears, despite the sometimes overwhelming and intense feelings they bring, you unlock a hidden source of power. When you do something that you know is right and you take inspired action, the result will always, always be for your highest good. You cannot fail when you take inspired action even when you feel fear. Sometimes the result will be a manifestation event such as this where you feel exhilaration. The feeling of exhilaration is guidance letting you know that how you feel is perfectly aligned with who you are and what you really want.

More importantly, the good feeling you received is a message letting you know that you are now creating a future that will bring you more evidence of your worthiness. By feeling so good now and realizing that it was you who challenged your own irrational fears, you have set up the future to unfold in a way that matches how you feel in that moment. What could be better than that?

When you face a fear, you move your vibration to another level regarding that particular subject. In this case, you built more confidence about your talent and your passion. This reduces the intensity of the fear. You can now prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have nothing to fear. You can prove the fear is false. You had an irrational fear and a limiting belief. The limiting belief was that you were not good enough. You have just proven that you are good enough based on the feedback you received from others as well as how you felt while performing. When you reduce the intensity of limiting beliefs and increase your desires, you effectively and consciously create the reality you want.

When you think about irrational fear, it is really a fear of negative emotion. Imagine the worse thing that could have happened. Imagine if the place was packed with people who heckled and booed while you were performing. Would you have died? No. You would have likely felt some form of negative emotion. Does negative emotion really feel that bad or is there a way to control it? Imagine that you could not feel negative emotion while performing. That would make you fearless.

The reason anyone has a fear of performing or speaking in public is because they fear negative emotion. If not for the negative emotion they might encounter as a result of their performance, they would not have stage fright. You understand that negative emotion stems from choosing a perspective which is out of alignment with who you really are and what you want. You already know it is simply a message from your inner self. You know that all you have to do is reframe the subject and choose a more empowering perspective.

Let's imagine that this night did not work out as magically as it did. Before we go there, you must realize that it worked out so well because your vibration was aligned with the event and you had done some pre-paving work. So for you it had to work out. You were a vibrational match to the events of this night.

But just for the sake of illustration, let's imagine that the room was packed with a crowd of people who enjoyed a different type of music. They were not a vibrational match to the type of music that you were singing. So they felt inner conflict and took the lowvibrational action that resonated with how they were feeling and they booed. Knowing what you know, how would you feel?

Initially, you would react by thinking they were wrong to boo and that they should change. You might feel the inspiration to say something, to cry, or to walk off the stage which would change the conditions. However, in the moment you felt negative emotion you stopped before reacting and you analyzed the situation. Your very first rational thought was "This is happening for me, not to me." So you reached for higher-vibrational thoughts and you decided to change your perspective rather than trying to change the conditions. Finally, you found a perspective that allowed you to feel relief and you kept on singing your heart out. What do you think that perspective was?

Joshua

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