Joshua,
Thanks for telling me what I needed to hear instead of answering my questions. It was a hard pill to swallow at first. I read your answer several times today...initially I felt like you were disappointed in me (even though I knew that couldn't be true). I later realized I was actually disappointed in myself (even though I knew that wasn't at all productive).
It took me all day to find the higher perspective, but I'm there now and I feel much better. Here's what I've come up with:
What do I want?
I would love to feel safe.
I would love to feel secure.
I would love to feel confident.
I would love to flow love at all times.
I would love to be on good terms with my ex.
I would love to trust that I am taken care of by Source.
I would love to know my boys' best interests are being served.
I would love to reach a divorce agreement that is satisfactory to both sides.
What are the positive aspects?
He is doing the best he can with what he has to work with.
He is simply a character in my reality...I create his actions and reactions.
He is willing to negotiate a settlement outside of court.
He is a good negotiator and can pass that trait on to our boys.
He is great at only doing that which feels good to him (I could learn from him in this regard).
What higher perspectives can I choose here?
I create my reality and everyone/everything in it.
I am the only one who can create in my reality.
I am perfect as I am, and the same goes for everyone else.
I am safe. I know this to be true because the fears I feel in this situation are irrational,
which means that they are false.
I always make the right choice. I know this to be true because it is impossible to be wrong since there is no wrong anywhere in the universe.
I am supported and loved by more than I could count.
Everything is happening exactly as it is supposed to.
Everything is always working out for my divine highest good.
Hopefully this helps swing the momentum back in the other direction. Sometimes reality just seems so fucking real, and I guess I get caught up in it. I appreciate your patience with me as I figure all of this out.
With love,
Kyla
Dear Kyla,
The feeling of disappointment is an emotion created by a limiting belief based in an irrational fear. We cannot feel disappointment. The feeling of pride is an emotion created by a beneficial belief based in love. We feel great pride, and accomplishment, and joy at watching your progress. When we ask you not to compare yourself to others, we are speaking about comparing yourself to those you feel are superior. However, it is often helpful to compare yourself to a past version of you. You must see the progress we see.
What you are doing is radically changing your approach to life. You are moving away from victimhood and toward self-awareness and conscious creation. You are consciously creating the life you prefer. Do you realize how rare this is? You are on the leading edge of the leading edge of creation. You are changing the quality of your life experience. You are making tremendous strides toward what you truly want and you are becoming who you really are. It is exciting to watch this transformation.
When you become who you really are, what will your life look like? This is something to think about. We would like you to write a description of your life when you become who you really are. How would you deal with everyday life? What would your thoughts feel like. How would you behave? What would you do with your time? What would your list of wants describe?
Take another crack at your list of desires, your list of positive aspects, and your list of higher perspectives by pretending to be who you really are. As a reminder, you are a being of pure positive love and acceptance. You are powerful beyond measure. As a being of love, irrational fear is something foreign to you. Use your imagination to conjure the feeling of this being inside you and write a another list. Feel how it feels to be the higher version of you as you write. Take note of the thoughts, ideas, and the mental images that come to you as you write. Enjoy the process. There is no right or wrong result. This is an exercise in feeling. We want you to glimpse the feeling of what it's like to be who you really are.
Joshua
