Dear Joshua
My boyfriend totally gets me and I'm a lucky girl because he points some truths out to me (like I have a good eye but lack confidence so look for reassurance from the outside, or that I can be moany) but appreciates me too. I don't want to be moany – I mean, poor Gary (and you, and me, and of course, Mike)!!. Life is good, I am blessed. I do feel though that in my questions to you there is an element of moaniness which is yucky (I justify it by saying to myself I want to get clear, or this is what is going on so to state it), but maybe there is a way of being more upbeat, positive, in my questions - or is it all ok as is (see, I'm looking for that outside reassurance – he totally gets me) ?
With appreciation always,
Kate
Dear Kate,
This One on One program is for you. You can be comfortable being exactly as you are with us. We are here for you, and you (exactly as you are) are here for us. You must remember, this is your world. Everyone in your world is here for you. Your boyfriend, your boss, your mother and sisters and even Gary are all here for you. You never have to be anything other than who you are. You never have to try to be anything other than who you are being in the moment. You are perfect as you are in this moment. The only thing you have to ask yourself is "Am I being in a way that supports my journey to becoming who I really am (a pure positive being of love, in case you forgot) and am I operating in a way the fully aligns with the forces of the universe?"
You do not change who you are or how you are operating for other people. You might consider changing because a more aligned version of you is more effective in creating the life you desire. That's all. You don't change to please others, you change to create a better experience of life for yourself.
When you think of being more positive, you are seeking a feeling of approval from us, your boyfriend, or even Gary. This is done to make you feel better, not them. It doesn't matter how they feel. You seek to behave in a way that causes you to feel better because you will believe that they will be thinking of you in a way that causes you to feel good. You are operating from the old approach to life when you worry what others are thinking.
Feel good first. Be confident first. Think better thoughts first and the world will take shape to reflect how you feel. Your reality is created from the inside out. However, you believe it is created from the outside in and so you seek to adjust the conditions so that your reaction to them will cause you to feel good. You like your boyfriend only because he causes you to feel good. If he continually caused you to feel bad (by behaving in a way you judged as wrong) you would leave him. You keep him around because he makes you feel good. You behave in a certain way around him because you believe that behavior will keep him behaving in a way that causes you to feel good. Forget all about that, be yourself, and feel good anyway.
Be who you are without ever worrying about bothering, annoying, or upsetting anyone else. Stop thinking about the reaction of others. That is there issue, not yours. You can't continue to juggle all these balls and keep them all in the air at the same time. You will become resistant. Start easing up on yourself and demand to feel good. Be who you want to be and if the others get upset, so be it. Feel good even when they can't. It's not up to you to keep everyone feeling good by be being who you are not.
If you want to be moany, then be moany. If you want to be positive, do it because it aligns with everything you want, not because you think it will appease anyone else.
You are love. You are loved just as you are.
Joshua
