Dear Joshua
Can we talk a bit about the body and weight and fitness? Some people are naturally thin. Some eat a lot and don't gain an ounce, some cut back (and still gain)... Is it the foods, the beliefs. The individual body's metabolism? I'm curious because the subject has created a huge market, and a lot of people today are more conscious and managing their weight and fitness than ever before.
With Love
Kate
Dear Kate,
We are writing an entire book on this subject as we speak. As you know, every body is unique. The size and shape of the body is controlled by the mind. In order for the body to be in shape, the mind has to be fit as well. Now, not all people have issues with food and weight, but almost all people have difficulties managing their emotional state of being. Most reach for something outside themselves to soothe themselves. Some choose alcohol and drugs, some choose cigarettes, some choose gossip, some go shopping, and some eat cheesecake.
Those who seem fit manage their emotional state of being with something other than food. The shape of their bodies might be really important to them. They might feel terrible with just a few extra pounds. While they seem to be eating as much or more than others, generally they don't care that much about food to begin with. The lean ones don't reach for food to soothe themselves, they reach for something else.
The general reason diets don't work has to do with the times that people sabotage themselves by reaching for sweets and treats they feel will elevate their emotional state. They might feel some fear, even a relatively minor one, and they go for a treat to get them up. However, when they're on a diet, their lack of will power causes them to feel even worse and they slip back down that slope.
You must learn to soothe yourself by reaching for an inner tool or procedure. Rather than looking outside of yourself for relief, we suggest you go inside and reframe the conditions in a way that helps you feel better. It's easy to grab at something in physical reality and use that to change your state, but these things have consequences. When you can feel your level of emotional discomfort in the moment and then write a list of things you appreciate (by hand because it's just so much more powerful), or conjure some thoughts that make you feel good, or pet a dog (okay that's external but it has no negative consequences) you're far better off than doing something that might be counter to your desire.
Joshua
