Dear Joshua,
One of my clients just had a baby boy and I'm super happy for him and his family. We have a strange relationship (which I really appreciate). He seems to like my work and feels comfortable with me. I really like him for different reasons, but the initial reason was "wow, he's attractive". I still think that, and of course it is helped by the fact that we get on. It is just the right level of intimacy... a bit of chit chat on personal stuff and then work.
These are the sort of people I would like to attract and these are the sort of people I focus on maintaining relationships with. I had a colleague who used to say "why work with people who are difficult", while my boss says "sometimes you might have a difficult time being accepted by a potential client, they might be rude, standoffish, not have enough time, but could end up being your best client because you persisted" I'm not sure which stance to take (it reminds me of your parachute analogy). Of course I would like it all to be pleasant exchanges all the time, after all, in my personal life I specifically choose to be with people where there is mutual appreciation... but maybe sometimes I need to push myself to do the scary, possible failure action.
Kate
Dear Kate,
This is an attractive universe. You attract that which you are a match to. When you attract attractive clients, it feels good. It feels right. It's fun and interesting. You want what's best for them. When you attract difficult clients, it's also a match. There's something in your vibration that attracted this type of client as well. What could it be?
If you were fully aligned with the part of you that wants to work with the easy clients who feel good, then that is who you would attract. However, there is a part of you that feels like you must get as many clients as possible. It is a fear-based belief. It is limiting. It is focused on lack and scarcity. If you truly believed that you were good enough and smart enough to take care of your core client, then that's all you would receive.
Many, many people in your situation, be they doctors, lawyers, designers, realtors, etc. work only with clients who they want to work with. Let's call them Core clients. These are the people who appreciate your work, who are respectful of your expertise, who trust you, are loyal, refer others, and who appreciate all that you do for them. Even in trying times, they understand that you are doing everything you can for them. Then there are the clients who believe they know better than you. They don't trust you. They ask for discounts of favors. They blame you for anything that goes wrong. They are disloyal. They do not bring anything to the party other than their money.
When you fully operate as who you really are, you will only work with core clients. When you are referred to someone you know is not a core client, you'll send them to someone else. Your core clients will understand your value when you act as who you really are and you will start attracting more clients who match the real you. You will earn far more money with far less effort and you'll be fully engaged and happy in your work. Until you become who you really are, you'll continue to attract some of the good and some of the not-so-good.
Joshua
