One On One

  • Astrid Question #1

    Why have I never had a boyfriend? I mean, there has got to be some major issues going on here, for Christ's sake I'm 34! Even 34 and a half! And this need for a life partner is getting quite overwhelming. It feels pretty intense, and I have tried to work through so many beliefs:

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  • Astrid Question #2

    All the physical unwanted issues, my skin, my tummy etc, are these because of my resistance? If so, how do I know what exactly which part am I resisting? I've even noticed that these symptoms are getting worse, or I guess I should say they are becoming larger issues, as there is no wrong. They are especially bad it seems when I am in a very good mood. When life feels extra good, these symptoms get larger, and multiply, or I get new symptoms. So the better I feel the more resistance I also feel? Good feelings getting more intense also makes the resistance more intense? The thing is, I don't know what I am resisting. I find it confusing and difficult to try to change, or resist less when I don't know what I am resisting.

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  • Astrid Question #3

    Today when I read your answer to my first question I felt great. I was and still am excited about this journey, and am eager to see what will happen.

    Shortly after I read your answer I started to get flu-like symptoms, and did not feel very good physically. What is going on? Why did that happen? As there are no coincidences, I assume this was some sort of reaction to your words? Why? I think the last time I was sick has to be at least a few years ago.

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  • Astrid Question #4

    "What's next" you ask me? Well that's what I want to know too! I was hoping Infinite Intelligence would guide me there. I don't know what is next. I know some of the things I want, now, but you're telling me how much my vibration will change so it seems to me like my desires might change with that as well. Right now I just want to knowledge, I want to stuff myself on all the knowledge I can possible fit in this head and heart of mine and just delight in the knowing.

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  • Astrid Question #5

    What if I fail to get a higher vibration from all of this? I feel so unbalanced right now. Why do I always feel so much worse at night? I feel sad and usually lonely, and this always happens late at night around bedtime. Why? How can I turn this around?

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  • Astrid Question #6

    I got your answer #3 today and freaked out. Well, I freaked out because Gary asked me to join the live call today. Instead of just saying no thanks and then reading your answer, I managed to almost start hyperventilating and then got nauseous and then just to add to the mayhem, I started crying a little bit. I mean, yes I tend to overreact a lot, but this was way over the top even for me. Actually right now it is even kind of funny.

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  • Astrid Question #7

    I'm still thinking about what I want next, and why I want it. I want new and good experiences. Part of what makes an experience good for me is to share it with someone I know and appreciate. This is not a requirement for all my good experiences, but usually I feel better when I can share it with someone or talk to someone about my feeling around this experience afterwards. I wonder if one reason for this is because I feel safer when I am together with someone I have a relationship with, and like, rather than when I am alone. Feeling safe allows me to feel the feelings more intensely. Am I right?

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  • Astrid Question #8

    Is there anything I can do to help my Mom heal? I understand this is part of her journey, but since I feel better when she is all OK, I would like to help if I can. It just seems like every time something in her health stabilizes or they find the right medicines, the next minute they discover a new disease. It's exhausting to watch. Of course I would like to say me wanting her healthy is because I love her, but unconditional love accepts all conditions, also sickness right? And I'm afraid of her dying, leaving me. I know she'll be good no matter what and I know I'll handle it, but right now it feels better to think of her not leaving me until she's a lot older.

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  • Astrid Question #9

    I've had such a good day today. Last night I decided to get a new laptop, the old one is 15 years old I think, so when the Mic didn't work it was the perfect excuse to go shopping. I don't much like buying electronics, so I decided that everything today was going to be good. Easy drive over to the store, and friendly service at the store.

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  • Astrid Question #10

    I am afraid of not being in control of the situation. By that I think I mean I am afraid of not being able to control myself in every situation. Not being in control could lead to negative emotions and so I try to avoid losing control. I'd like to try to work on this before I actually find myself in these situations, to lessen the fear so it will be easier when I am in the middle of it. How do I do this?

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  • Astrid Question #11

    Ouch this one is a big one... So a few of my limiting beliefs are about me together with other people:

    Even while writing this I know that it's not true, most of it, but I still believe it. I mean, I do have some friends, people how accept me as I am and like to be with me. Now I want to add "in spite of how I am", although I think it must be "BECAUSE of how I am," but I feel like I believe the first suggestion. That I am somehow wrong and they love me despite that. It makes me sad to see how cruel I am towards myself, that I say these things. I would never ever say these kind of things to a friend, but I say these things to myself each day. It is awful! And I also realize that these beliefs did not used to be this strong, or this many, they have intensified and multiplied over the last 10 years.

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  • Astrid Question #12

    Last night I was out with a friend, just for a few drinks. I've noticed that I usually enjoy being together with only one person, I'm comfortable with that. I know this person only has me to talk to so I'm sort of on safe ground. I think my problem is worse with a group of people. When I'm in a group I tend to not feel so safe. I guess my fear is that the group will turn on me, that they all will not like me for some reason. I know that is unrealistic and if so I can just leave, but by that time the negative feelings will already have appeared. I feel fear because I can not control a group, and so I don't know what might happen. With one person I feel somewhat in control, even though logically I know I can never control anything or anyone other than myself.

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  • Astrid Question #13

    Since you told me that my work was my relationships with other people, interacting and so on, I tried to be more social this weekend. Friday was drinks with a friend and then Saturday I was at this friends house for a party. 3 other friends that I already know were also there, and later 2 more people came over. OK, so I just want to make sure I cover as much as I can in these manifestation events, I don't want to miss out on working on a few limiting beliefs.

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  • Astrid Question #14

    It was so strange talking to you tonight, you felt different from what I imagine when reading your answers. I think I might look forward to doing it again.

    A lot of my decisions, from small to large, have been made from the principle of trying to minimize negative emotions. In your latest answer you tell me to embrace the negative emotion, that this negative emotion will be the path that brings me to the life I want. So I want to change the way I make decisions for my life. I want to focus on the alternative that holds the largest potential for growth and expansion. I want to be able to look at a choice and see that this one alternative is the one where I can potentially expand the most. I want to be able to choose the alternative that will eventually maximize my happiness, not the alternative where I will encounter the least fear or the least negative emotion. I feel this is a very daring choice of action for me and I must say I feel quite proud for even thinking this.

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  • Astrid Question #15

    This last year I have had recurring manifestations of delays, or more correctly, I've been waiting for things and calling them delayed. There were some small manifestations like blog posts that were not posted on regular days, (but when I checked later it turned out that they were on time and I just could not see it until later). Or all those times when I had to wait because someone was late to an appointment with me. I know, not bad things, just enough to make a pattern.

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  • Astrid Question #16

    When I get invited somewhere or someone wants to hang out, most of the time I don't want to do it. After starting on these conversations with you all, I have said yes to all invitations, just to try to force myself into new things. Most or maybe even all of these events have turned better than expected.

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  • Astrid Question #17

    So your answer obviously scared the shit out of me because I am mightily pissed off right now. I'd like to slap a few of you. "Is this too much an effort for you?" you asked me. Well I'm here aren't I? I'm so pissed off and also very excited because this must be a big one coming up for me to be so mad at Infinite Intelligence! I am looking forward to see the change in me after I work myself out through the other side of this hissy fit and release on those major fears that are turning me into this PMS bitch!

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  • Astrid Question #18

    I want to find something to do that I love. I want to create something, but I don't know what. I want to fill my days with these creations, have something other than just my reading to do. I don't know how to find this thing, my passion. I don't really want to do anything. I love to think, but I'm getting bored with just thinking about what I want. It's done, it's old news now.

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  • Astrid Question #19

    Today I am feeling good, powerful, and wonderful. I like it! What I have noticed is that the better I feel in my mind, the worse my body seems to get. My skin breaks out and feels sore, my neck and shoulders are stiff and painful.

    I obviously have some resistance going on and as my good feelings intensify so does my resistance. What is the best way to handle this? I try to distract my thoughts and just ignore the symptoms, but this doesn't seem to help. I don't know what I am resisting or how to uncover the issues.

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  • Astrid Question #20

    Lately I've had a few experiences where loved ones have yelled at someone I love or care about. This made me feel uncomfortable and I felt like they were doing something wrong. I also felt the need to try to stop it, and felt sorry for the person I perceived as wronged, the person who was being attacked in my view.

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  • Astrid Question #21

    Today is the day after another one of my meltdowns and I feel vulnerable and open. Not necessarily a bad thing. I am fed up with being this way, all this drama. I want to do as you said, just give up on trying to defend the persona.

    I've noticed that these meltdowns usually come after one of those high flying days. I have days where I will feel very very good, and that is when the extreme downers, the fear, hits in one of those elegant manifestation events. Why is that? Why does it happen like that?

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  • Astrid Question #23

    All I do, or at least most of what I do with other people, is to get them to love me. I just realized that most of my life revolve around this need for love.

    I talk negative about other people so that other people and myself will see how good I am, and love me. I am jealous of other people who do better than me because I think to get love I need to be the best. I was always the best or at least one of the best, at school, at work, wherever. If I was not one of the best I quit. Even with my art, I needed to be best. I loved art because it was not measurable in the same way as sports, you can not pick a champion in the same way with art. Still I tried, and needed to be the best.

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  • Astrid Question #24

    I don't understand what you are telling me to do. I don't think I am looking at this in the most helpful way.

    So, you tell me to express my love to those I already love. I can do that. I guess so far I have been doing it wrong? I love my Mom, but I don't think I necessarily like her very much right now. I have not yet been able to allow her to be who she is now, and to like that person. How do I solve this? Are you asking me to spend more time with her? Shit, that doesn't feel good at all!

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  • Astrid Question #25

    Great answer, loving this! OK, so let's go with the example of my mother, because it's easy for me to feel fear, be annoyed, and be the limited version of me around her. Haha yes, she is a good teacher! Anyway, so say for instance that we are together and she does or says something that I don't like or approve of. Something that I will label as wrong, even though I now know it is not wrong. Even if I am able to logically know this is just my limited perspective, that it is just my irrational fear triggered by her, I still am only able to go to neutral. I am not able to keep my good feelings AND enjoy her company. What I just realized is that my way of handling this is to try to tune her out. To either go to my happy place inside of me or to focus on the other people present, to distract myself from her and what she is triggering within me. But that is not a good solution, that does not bring me closer to acceptance, that is just avoidance.

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  • Astrid Question #26

    I feel like I am getting somewhere now!

    So, could you please elaborate on this next piece from your last answer. You know with my imagination I need some extra help. I tend to overdo things.

    "But the truth is, when you receive all that you want, you will be someone at the center of attention. If you want to be the version of you that is in vibrational harmony with all you desire, you will be a person who is very comfortable with adoration and attention."

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  • Astrid Question #27

    I don't understand how I can have all these feelings of not being worthy. How did I create this easy life whilst feeling like this? How did I allow in my loving family, friends and this perfect apartment and all this money? I have all of this, and I don't do shit for it. I have friends who like me more than I like myself. How did I let all this into my life? I am also curious as to how I even found these feelings of not being worthy and how I am able to keep them in spite of the life I live.

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  • Astrid Question #28

    I had a magnificent day today! Kyla helped me overcome some of my fears and shame around sex, and it was all a wonderful manifestation, the whole day! You sure did a wonderful job picking out our group so far! Thank you!

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  • Astrid Question #29

    I think I finally heard at least a small part of your message:

    For me to enjoy people, and enjoy myself with people, and enjoy us together. All of that, but without the pressure of having them like me back. If I don't need them to like me, then there is no pressure and I can just enjoy us and them and our time together for what it is.

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  • Astrid Question #30

    So what I am getting from our conversation today is that I am not putting myself out there enough? I might agree. Right now the issue is that there is not really anything I want to do. Well I want to walk around in my new house, but since that is not here right now I can't do that. I would also like to travel in December, but don't have anyone to go with because my friends have jobs. Funny people but I can't make them wrong. So I am thinking more about everyday sort of things to do and can't find anything that I would want to do that I am not doing. Is this because the fear is too strong for me to even consider it?

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  • Astrid Question #31

    In answer 28 you said that I don't need attention, I need to pay attention to others. OK, so that took me into a crazy meltdown. I do need attention. I am so scared of being invisible! I have lived like that before and I can not imagine a greater pain. It is the most painful experience I have ever had and I don't know if I can go through that again.

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  • Astrid Question #32

    Half the things I think I should do are not even things I want to do, just things I feel I should do because you gave me the assignment of being around people. So far I have failed. Whenever I am with others nothing bad happens. They are all nice to me, I have a good time and can't figure out what I should have felt bad about. Everyone is always nice to me.

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  • Astrid Question #33

    I see I have this big fear of feeling lonely. What exactly is this feeling of loneliness? When I feel lonely, I think there are several reasons:

    I am alone and think that others are not alone, they are surrounded by people they love. I am alone and feel like this is not by choice, I would rather be with someone. (Very different from the feeling when I choose to be alone and enjoy it).
    I am in a group of others but feel different, isolated, or simply not noticed by others, and this again makes me feel lonely.

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  • Astrid Question #34

    I am still thinking about this feeling of being an outsider, not fitting in. Another variation of being lonely. Next week I am going on a short trip with a few of my friends, and I would like to resolve my fears before we go, so I can enjoy the trip.

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  • Astrid Question #35

    All my fears, all I am afraid of, it is just my own thoughts? All I am afraid of is just thoughts! Thoughts that lead to feelings, but all in all just thoughts, right? Not even a gun or a knife, just thoughts! And my own even, thoughts that I am in control of, thoughts that I can choose for myself! All I am ever afraid of is just my own thoughts? That's it??

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  • Astrid Question #36

    I had another visit with my mother. Yes, so naturally here is another question.

    I perceive her as extremely negative. Lots of complaining, anger at others, seeing lack when there is only abundance and so on. I want to be able to accept that version of her. Right now I am not. When she starts with her negativity, I feel myself falling straight back down into annoyance. What in me is it that responds this strongly to this perceived negativity? Why does that bother me so much?

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  • Astrid Question #37

    I can't let go of my feelings around my mother.

    Right now my current manifestations point out my issues with control. I have a strong aversion against others deciding for me, or telling me what to do. I feel sick now just writing about it. I hate it. I know no one can ever control me, that it is just an illusion, as I create everything in my life. But the feeling persists. I feel like others, well mostly my mother, are trying to control me. I also realized how I have been giving away my power for so long, following everyone else's rules and thinking that they knew better how I should live my life. It is almost unbelievable to me now how I just let myself be pushed around.

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  • Astrid Question #38

    You say I can just shield my mother from her fears by not telling her the things she won't like. Right? But to me that sounds like being something I am not, in order to please those around me. That I must pretend to be different to keep the peace. That does not feel good so I think I misunderstood you.

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  • Astrid Question #39

    Allowing: I thought it was just about feeling good. But when I am trying to feel good and then better, (stoking the fire is what Abraham said) are you saying I am trying too hard? I should not need to make an effort to feel good and better and better? I thought I understood but now I am uncertain..

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  • Astrid Question #40

    Okay so I feel another Tuesday meltdown coming on. Again, my interpretation of your answer. Or rather, what happened on the Live call.

    I have felt good most of the time lately. I have been somewhere above neutral and then into delicious, and sort of going up and down in between those. Or so I thought. Now I get the impression that you are saying I have not been feeling good? That is what I also heard on the call, that I am not getting this.

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  • Astrid Question #41

    Why does it hurt so much when people, or you guys, are being nice to me? In many cases it is more painful than when someone is telling me I am wrong. Like in your last answer. You said I was amazing and so on. I can't even repeat all the words, it makes me feel so uncomfortable. Even now I am ashamed that I repeated amazing. When I read that I thought "yeah yeah now they are just bullshitting me because I complained" and I used a stupid sarcastic voice saying "you are aaaamaaazing" just to make sure I didn't believe it. So, why is it so difficult when people are being nice to me? I don't understand the fear.

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  • Astrid Question #42

    I'd like to talk about this trip, in December. The original thought was to go to Miami, stay at a luxurious hotel, maybe 5-6 days. I have been checking out the best area to stay without a car, and checking out the hotels. I want to travel on Business Class, and stay at a hotel close to shopping and beach, 4 or 5 stars. I'd like a single seat on the plane, some airlines have that. Okay, so a lot of things that I have already decided. Is this wrong of me?

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  • Astrid Question #43

    Being alone with one of my friends and then with her in a group, I notice that my perception of her is different when we are just us two and when we are in a group. When alone, I see her as very negative and always very angry and impatient. I feel very exhausted and drained when we are together. In a group I sense a shift in my perception of her. She seems less negative at least.

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  • Astrid Question #44

    So I am wondering about allowing again. You have talked about how the next step would seem like the next logical action. Today you said that I was trying to fill in the blanks by myself instead of letting the Universe handle it. I don't think I understand this very fine line. I guess I am so used to doing that I assume I need to do, to fix or to book something to make it happen.

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  • Astrid Question #45

    I get what I desire by allowing, not doing, right? So then having the body I want can also come through allowing? I don't have to DO anything? Meaning I can continue to eat as I do and my body can change through allowing, not doing/eating less? This rule either works for everything or it doesn't work at all, is what I think.

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  • Astrid Question #46

    Wait a minute... You say I will get a new body based on my beliefs around food, body and exercise. So if I can find a way to believe that I can eat as I do now and still be leaner, then that can happen?

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  • Astrid Question #47

    I was thinking about getting a more positive view on my body. The first thought that came to me was "I have a sexy body". And that felt good but also bad. So I asked myself why it was so bad to be sexy. I felt ashamed. Like I should not be sexy.

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  • Astrid Question #48

    About my body and my weight: I feel ashamed. When I overeat I feel ashamed that I seem to be unable to control my body. When I put on weight I feel ashamed because then other people can see that I have no control over my actions. I feel like I should control myself and I am failing. So there is both the feeling of shame and of failure.

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  • Astrid Question #49

    Tonight I was watching American Horror Story on Netflix. In one episode Lady Gaga says "Goddesses don't whisper, they scream". I like that! (Totally unrelated but...)

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  • Astrid Question #50

    I am scared. Lately I have been worried about getting a virus on my laptop, cellphone etc. Today I threw my old laptop in a recycling bin and forgot to take out the hard drive! I only remembered after the store where it was had closed so now I have to wait until Monday to go see if it is still there. Will it kill me if someone has stolen it? Nope. Is it likely to be stolen? Since it is 15 yrs old, I doubt it. If someone takes it and uses the data for some purpose will it be for my good, is it happening FOR me? Yes... maybe... yes.

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  • Astrid Question #51

    About my symptoms, feeling sick for a month and so on: I just realized that these are the symptoms I get when I am really scared. I always get this way before interviews, for jobs I mean. It just never occurred to me that this could be it, that I could go around being scared for a month. I mean, terrified really.

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  • Astrid Question #52

    I've been reading Channeling Erik. He says that some souls, even old souls, can be total assholes. Is that me? Is that why I struggle with accepting myself, because I am an asshole? I have also been told I am an old soul, is that right?

    Can you tell me something about my previous lives?

    And don't ignore this one just because I have plenty of other issues!

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  • Astrid Question #53

    I am reading about our souls. How we are all God. How we are the body, and we are all one. I was walking to the grocery store and looking up at the people I walked past and thought "they are me, we are one, we are love, we are all God". This feeling must be something similar to love? It is such a comfort.

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  • Astrid Question #54

    I have had the best Tuesday ever! No meltdown today!

    I should have gone to visit my parents on Sunday, then yesterday and finally today but didn't want to so I just let it go. Then my dearest mother says she will be close to my place today and I could just meet her there. Problem solved!

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  • Astrid Question #55

    The other day at yoga I was feeling great, that was the super-day with the new iPad and all. That day I talked to people at yoga as usual, but felt an unusual connection. Today when I was there again I was more neutral, or not as good feeling as the other day. I didn't feel that connection today.

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  • Astrid Question #56

    So, basically, if I just decide that everyone likes me, a lot, that will only be to my own good?

    I especially enjoy that part where you say you have tremendous love and appreciation for me. I am going to use that to describe myself to me.

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  • Astrid Question #57

    I have been afraid of being ME because I don't want people to see who and how I am. When people know my secrets I feel vulnerable. But I'm thinking now, it's really the opposite isn't it? If I am authentic and honest and open, if I have no secrets then there is nothing to hide. It is having secrets, something to hide, that makes me vulnerable, right?

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  • Astrid Question #58

    I have this idea, this belief, that guys will be disgusted and offended if they find out I am attracted to them.

    A friend of mine just suggested I ask this guy out for coffee and I could tell by my strong reaction that this was FOR me. And I thought how awkward it would be if he said no, but worst of all what if he said yes?! I keep thinking that when I hang out with people, I need to entertain them. Like they are going to a show and I am the show. They aren't here to be with me, just to be entertained.

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  • Astrid Question #59

    How do I find a reason to keep going? I don't mean I want to kill myself or anything. I just don't feel like there is a point to all of this. I would like for there to be something more.

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  • Astrid Question #60

    I need to tell you about all the fantastic things that have happened the last few days, after I started to let go a tiny bit of my need to control.

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  • Astrid Question #61

    What can I do to stop wanting something?

    I know that I don't need to be loved, I only need to love. I still haven't found a way to stop wanting to be loved, even now that I know it is not part of my path and just a longing created out of fear.

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  • Astrid Question #62

    So I finally asked the guy out for coffee. He didn't answer, just shook his head and laughed while avoiding eye contact. My first thought was that he found it inappropriate.

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  • Astrid Question #63

    I think I was hoping for a NO from the Coffee guys because I was afraid of the date. But why would I even bother asking the next person if I don't care what they answer? If they day yes I'll not be interested in talking to them. If I was I would have been attached to getting a Yes. How do I even work myself into being interested and excited about anything if I am to not be attached to an outcome?

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  • Astrid Question #64

    Yes, I know I am LARGE. I figured it out yesterday while listening to Kyla in the Joshua Live. You said the reason I think she is "too much" is because I am too little. I agree. I said to myself "I am large" and it felt fucking magnificent! So large is right for me and I've been focusing on this feeling now because right now that feels great.

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  • Astrid Question #65

    Was it my plan to come here and help others find their Light or is this journey for my own growth only?

    Or will my path turn into a totally different field? I mean if I'm going to be a carpenter that is quite a different focus although building homes to shelter people is very important.

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  • Astrid Question #66

    So one of the fears thinking about the conditions around me now brings up is the fear of being alone. I don't trust myself, or trust that I have in me what I need to create a life for myself. Right now I feel as if I have only me. I don't own my home anymore. I don't have a job or an income. I don't produce anything. I don't have my own family (Thank God!). All I have is me and that is scary. It makes me feel very naked and vulnerable. Okay so yes, that is obviously a big fear there.

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  • Astrid Question #67

    Why is it so important for me to be on the live calls when there is not even time for me to say anything more than HI?

    Why do you want us to be a group where we have to shout out and interrupt other people to be able to talk ourselves? I don't want to treat the people around me that way, I want everyone to have a say, not just the ones that talk the loudest.

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  • Astrid Question #68

    You are right, I don't get it. How is this answer different, a break through? I heard "find a higher perspective that makes you feel good". That is what you say in all the answers. So what was the break through?

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  • Astrid Question #69

    Guess what just happened?! Oh I am so excited!

    Okay, the thing is, I had decided to not do the calls anymore. I like them less and less, and after the last one I guess I was ashamed by my behavior and my reaction. So I have been going back and forth about whether to join or not, and just decided the easiest was to not join. But what if I missed out on something... So back and forth again, I just gave up and left it undecided until Monday.

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  • Astrid Question #70

    For most of my life, I have felt like I didn't have a life of my own. Like I was just a part of everyone else's lives, all split up and with nothing that was mine. So I was nothing.

    This morning, as I was thinking about what you said in the previous answers, how I need to see the universe revolving around me, new thoughts came to me.

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  • Astrid Question #71

    So again you ask me what I want. I don't know. If you know, why can't you tell me?

    I want to know what goes on inside other people. What is going on inside their heads. Not necessarily because I care about them, I'm just curious how people think, what they feel and so on.

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  • Astrid Question #72

    I was trying to do an echo there. Because you are in the big space I mean. Okay maybe not a comedian yet.

    If we are all connected then every time my vibration goes up that must mean that the consciousness as a whole is getting a higher vibration? When I evolve, this must affect the other parts of my Soul or Spirit that is living on Earth or anywhere else, right? Equally, when Steve reaches a higher vibration, the consciousness of All That Is will benefit, including me?

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  • Astrid Question #73

    On the call you started saying something about our bodies. How they are under a lot of stress right now due to what we are going through, and how the body handles that. Could you please continue on that topic?

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  • Astrid Question #74

    Last week I saw a guy with a big German Shepherd dog. This guy was leaving the dog outside a store. He hugged the big dog and made kissing sounds and soothed him as he left him. That big, powerful dog was obviously scared to be left there. I just could not understand how this big, strong and powerful dog could be so scared. It was clear to me he could not see himself as we see him: strong and powerful.

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  • Astrid Question #75

    So many people have mentioned that I might want to reread my questions, or telling me they were doing that. So it must be FOR me.

    In #10 you said: "You chose to come here and experience fear as an intense aspect of your reality. This unique aspect of who you are as a human is something you wanted. It is a higher-level idea to which you are quite happy to explore."

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  • Astrid Question #76

    So today is Christmas Eve and I will soon head over to Mom's for the celebrations. I'm thinking again about how and why I feel so much negative emotion around her. One thing that came up is how she always used to take compliments as complaints or criticism. Haha guess who else did that?? Another thing is how she will suddenly explode over nothing, she just is not able to control her emotions. Again, sounds familiar?? This is so much fun!

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  • Astrid Question #77

    So, Christmas and family gatherings... yes I struggle.

    I find myself trying to change how I act when I am around my family, so that I can pretend to be interested in hearing the gossip about an old neighbor they met in church. Or I will try to support them when they are angry and complaining about something trivial. I try to change me so that I can manipulate the situation and their behaviour to please me. I thought I had to react to their behaviour or adjust myself according to the situation.

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  • Astrid Question #78

    I keep having these horrific dreams (like every night almost for a year or so) where I am either being chased, bullied, tortured, or someone is trying to kill me. I wake up exhausted and I'm usually not looking forward to sleep even though I am tired.

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  • Astrid Question #80

    If I want to take up more space, if I force my way out there and take that space, will the Universe expand and create more space? Or will more space for me mean less space for someone else? I guess that last part shows my limiting belief in lack... The thing is, I want to take up more space but I don't want anyone else to have less because of this. I want space enough for everyone. Is this possible?

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  • Astrid Question #81

    Can you tell me about one of my most difficult lives?

    You say I have lived many easy lives, and I have to say I think it would be hard to find a more easy life than this one I am living now. I am safe, wealthy (compared to most of the population), healthy, loved and provided for, living in a safe and wealthy country in a safe and healthy family, with perfect friends. Why would I choose something even easier, why would that be interesting?

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  • Astrid Question #82

    So now I want more action. I want to find something to do, a passion or interest. I want to speed things up. I know I need to make this change inside of me first, to get a different reflection outside of me.

    I don't know HOW to do this. Do I need to try to find the specific emotions I want to experience and stay in this feeling for as long as I can? Or is feeling good, in a more unspecified way, enough?

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  • Astrid Question #83

    You said: "Therefore, you must find a way to believe things you do not believe so that you can transform into the version of yourself that you know exists."

    How do I find these exact things that I don't believe? Is it just a matter of letting the manifestation events change me? Or to already see myself as the perfect, brilliant and magnificent superstar that I sometimes think I'll be? Is the trick to move this image from future to present time in my mind?

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  • Astrid Question #85

    I've been shopping. I've bought new gadgets, shoes, clothes. I feel the need to change around the furniture in my apartment. I am bored with my diet. So yes, I want something new and have been trying to change the conditions rather then changing what is inside me.

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  • Astrid Question #86

    Here are the ideas that I remember:

    Go swimming/might be flying as I was dreaming about swimming in air
    Acting in TV series/movies
    Start a blog
    Do speeches in a big theatre/big audience
    A trip to London
    Indoor climbing

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  • Astrid Question #87

    Being on the leading edge, does that make us leaders?

    Yesterday I was thinking about how I want something new, fresh and exciting. You say all I want or need can be found inside me, to not seek outside of me, but to search and find it all within.

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  • Astrid Question #88

    I want a second opinion, or just a fresh voice maybe. Can you talk to my guides and "channel" or bring their input to me?

    Good thing you don't get offended or anything, being pure love and all....

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  • Astrid Question #89

    Sorry about the question about my guides. I think that was an urge from feeling bad.

    Anyways, could you please explain the relationship between a desire and feeling the feeling of what I want. The intensity of the desire versus practicing the feeling of having what I want. Usually it is easier to stay in, and intensify the desire. But does that somehow block the answer, when I keep staying in the question?

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  • Astrid Question #90

    I loved that last paragraph in #89! I know I manifest easily but didn't know the connection to intensified feelings. Fun fun fun!!

    You say "You can easily bring things into your reality. However, you lack focus and you often bring in things that are unwanted.".

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  • Astrid Question #91

    You say I have to find something I truly want to be able to manifest it. Or did I misunderstand??

    Because almost daily (and especially after you told me I'm a super manifestor) and sometimes several times a day I manifest things/people or situations that are more like a fleeting thought, or just a preference without really focusing on it. Is this because there is little resistance?

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  • Astrid Question #95

    I've been eating a lot, and still losing weight. I love it! I also like my body, the way it looks and feels. Loving my body came before the weight loss and now the weight loss is effortless. And when I don't loose weight I still feel good because I look so good already. So it seems like this method works for me, and I was thinking it could work on money too, right?

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  • Astrid Question #96

    Yes, what is it I truly want? Is that the same as my passion? I am afraid I simply won't recognize it when it eventually comes. I know you've said I will, but what if I don't? What if I miss it?

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  • Astrid Question #97

    I'm spending a lot of time worrying about being unapologetically me now. What if I hurt people's feelings? What if I know I will hurt them by doing this? But can I ever really know, and how could their reaction ever be my responsibility? Should I consider the consequences? Can I ever really know the consequences when that will be dependent on other's emotional state and their beliefs? I understand if they are hurt or get angry it is FOR them, but I am unsure of where kindness and living as a being of love comes into this....

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  • Astrid Question #98

    Well, but what if I am feeling neutral? Or just at peace? Now I am afraid of doing or saying anything if I'm not feeling explosively happy! At least half of my time is spent being content or at peace, I don't go around on fire all the time. Then what do I do? Avoid people because I'm not in a high emotional state? I find this very difficult. This is effing scary. My body does not like it when I'm scared and I don't like it either.

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  • Astrid Question #99

    These meltdowns are physically exhausting. I get a cold, my belly complains, I feel nauseous, and I am very very tired all the time. Usually it lasts a week even though my mood will be back to neutral or happy within a few days. Is this just because of the dramatic change in moods? It gets worse and worse every time. Is there anything I can do to help my body process this change easier and quicker?

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  • Astrid Question #100

    I have so many rules for the right behaviour. Both mine and other people's. When I give something I have an expectation, a rule, that they should or need to give back to me. I have rules for everything, to protect myself from getting hurt. But I am not really protecting myself from them, am I? I am trying to protect myself from my own reaction to their actions. So if I can control my reaction to anything, I can let go of these silly rules, right?

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