Hello Joshua,
I have just done something that I know and knew as I did it - was not my most loving, unconditional self. It was a part of the old me. I'm not proud of it and I am seriously scolding myself!
I responded to an email from a woman with some excuses, but I believe worse than that. I could tell I wanted to make her feel wrong - and me right. I knew it when I thought it. I knew it when I wrote it and I knew it when I hit Send.
And yet, I did it. I'd like to have a bit more stick-to-it-ness about being unconditional and allowing other's blame or accusations just roll off and not go directly to the instinct to protect my ego and make me look better and thus her wrong.
How can I do this? What can I practice? (Yes, I knew better and I still did it. So I need something a bit firmer!)
Thank you,
Allyson
Dear Allyson,
Your premise is false. You did not do anything wrong. You did everything right. You did what you did because you have a limiting belief and that belief has been exposed. There's nothing wrong with that. You want to expose your limiting beliefs. If you are going to become a vibrational match to your desires, you must identify and reduce the intensity of your limiting beliefs. All of the manifestation events such as this one allow you to identify limiting beliefs and there's nothing wrong with that. It's just that you realize what is happening in the moment that causes you to think you should be different than you are.
Most people feel negative emotion and react as you did by making the other person or the conditions wrong and they think that is a perfectly acceptable response. You know better and so you beat yourself up for reacting in fear. Can't you see how much more beneficial it is for you than it is for the unconscious creator who does not know what they're really doing? By understanding that your reactions are based in fear, you can address your fear rather than asking the other person to change. The unconscious creator thinks it's appropriate to try to change the other person, rather than address their own limiting beliefs. This approach does not allow them to reduce the intensity of their limiting beliefs and so they do not easily become a vibrational match to their desires. They keep hitting their heads against walls rather than moving around the wall.
Okay, you did something that you understand was a reaction based in fear. It demonstrates that there is a limiting belief that is triggered in situations like this. Good. Now you can look at the fear at the base of the limiting belief. You can choose to take a new perspective and find evidence that proves the belief is irrational and false. It does not matter what she thinks. It doesn't matter who's right. It doesn't matter if she is a client or not. Your abundance, worth, value, or anything else about you is not determined by what she thinks. You know you are worthy and good and abundant regardless of what anyone else thinks.
Do not beat yourself up over manifestation events like this. You will always be facing fear. Sometimes your reactions to fear will be obviously out of place, such as in this example, and sometimes it will be more difficult to understand the fear. Negative emotion is not bad, it's useful. Use it to discover your limiting beliefs and work to resolve those beliefs. You are never wrong. You will never be done. You will never be free of irrational fear, so there's no use trying to avoid it. Rather, you can embrace fear and negative emotion and simply learn to process it better. When you realize that there is no wrong, that no one else can be wrong and neither can you, you take a bit of the pain out of negative emotion. It's okay to feel negative emotion, it's just not worthwhile to believe you can do or have ever done anything wrong. There is no wrong anywhere in the universe. See such events and your reactions as perfectly right, because that is the absolute truth of the matter.
With our love,
We are Joshua
