Hello Joshua,
I desire silence and alone time even more than before. Is there something in this desire?
Thank you,
Allyson
Dear Allyson,
What causes you to birth a desire? Sometimes it's contrast. Sometimes it's a feeling of lack. Sometimes it is the feeling you want based on other feelings you have experienced. For instance, If you were raised in a large family with no privacy, you might birth a desire to be alone. If you found yourself alone, you might birth a desire to be with others. Sometimes, it has more to do with the experience of physical reality and your desire to experience something different.
When you are alone, you might perceive certain benefits. You can do what you want. You do not have to worry about pleasing others. You don't have to be concerned with what anyone else thinks about you. Do you see that when you are with others, there is a lot of human work to do? There is a lot to control. There are things you cannot control and sometimes that feels uncomfortable. It seems as if it is much easier to be alone. Until you are alone for too long and you find yourself wanting the stimulation that comes from being with other people.
There is a way for you to be with people and still maintain your alignment and your inner silence. You believe it is easier to maintain your alignment in times of solitude. However, it comes down to a matter of focus. You can be with people and maintain your focus. If you are one who likes to be in control, then unless you're in control you might find it more difficult to be with other people. If you a go-with-theflow type, you might find it quite easy to be with others. If you tend to judge other people, you can see that it might be a bit difficult to be around others. If you tend to compare yourself to others, you can see how that would make it more strenuous to be in the company of other people.
You came here to interact with other people feeling as if you are separate from them. However, all the other people in your life are simply mirrors to how you feel about yourself. The more you love who you are, the more authentic you become, the better you get at processing your fears, the easier you are on yourself and on other people, the easier it will be for you when you are around them. Some find it exhausting to be around other people. Some feel insecure around strangers.
Some like to insulate themselves in a safe community of like-minded people. Then there are some who relish interactions with many different types of people. The difference between those who want to be alone and those who want to be with others has a lot to do with how they perceive themselves. Some people cannot stand to be alone. When you perceive yourself as more loving, more worthy, and more secure in who you are, you will desire time to yourself a bit more and you will enjoy being around others a bit more, as well. However, we would say that it is helpful to be by yourself from time to time in order to get to know the real you.
Now, as you interact with others, you mold yourself around what you think they want from you. If you can be more like the authentic version of you while you are alone, you can be more like the authentic version of yourself with others. If you can do this, it will greatly enhance your interactions with all people.
You are loved more than you can imagine by more than you could ever count.
Fortunately, you are never alone.
Joshua
