Dear Joshua,
I listened to a Roundtable today which covered the subject of mates/significant others and how we - perhaps One on One folks - were handling it all. I absorbed some. I also think I took a brief nap ... no apology necessary. So I am going to probably ask a repeat question.
My guy has no idea I'm in such a program. He is aware that I am in a learning or class situation and that it's around my interest of LOA.
I drop lots of comments or responses and he listens to a point. Then he declares with great authority that "that's fine but here is what is really happening" type comments. Drives me crazy.
I know we are all on our own paths. We are all in our own place with awakening. He picked me ... did he pick me to help him move toward some awakening?
Did I really pick a guy who isn't awakening? Why would I do that? I thought I asked very specifically for someone who would move along with me on this awakening path!! I want to share more with him, but it's very scary and negative emotion (fear) comes up when I am defending my beliefs. How do I move forward? I don't want to push him to believe but I would like him to not be so defensive.
I'm all ears!
Thanks,
Allyson
Dear Allyson,
You are a vibrational match to your mate. Your mate is perfect as he is. Everyone is on a spiritual path. Everyone is moving from fear to love. Everyone is unique and so is their personal journey. From your perspective, you might believe that you are on an advanced spiritual journey or that you are progressing at a faster rate than he is (or slower than other people). This is not true. This is an illusion. Everyone is on a unique path and there are no levels. Everyone is equal. That is the reality of spiritual progression.
You expand through experience and so does everyone else, including your mate. He is expanding through the experience of you and you are expanding through him. He need not change for you to be happy. You will never find someone who is on the same path as you because one, that is impossible, and two, it would not be beneficial or expansive. You choose your mate (for a time) because he is what you need at the time. You need not be attached to him forever, but you can enjoy him while he is here. Anything you consider wrong about him or the relationship is just resistance caused by fear. There need be no fear. You can be on your path and explore whatever topic you explore and allow him to think what he likes. The only reason you do not appreciate his comments is because you are personally attached to what you believe. You think your beliefs define your experience. That is not true. They inform your experience and create your reality, but they do not and need not define you. That is simply your choice.
If your personal beliefs did not define you, then he could attack them without you feeling fear. He could say whatever he wanted to say about your beliefs and because you are not defined by them or attached to them, you would feel no fear and your ego would have no reason to defend the persona. You see it's your persona that wants him to be different than he is because you also define yourself by your mate. Again, you cannot define yourself by anything outside yourself. You are beyond definition because who you authentically are is limitless (beyond definition).
Do not care what he thinks. Enjoy believing whatever you want to believe. Enjoy maintaining a positive emotional state. Enjoy feeling good and following inspiration. Enjoy watching him go through contrast while dealing with irrational fear. Be a casual observer and notice how the nonresistant approach to life is so much easier and more effective. It feels a lot better when you allow everyone else to have their old beliefs and cling to their old approach, while you see everything from the higher perspective.
With our love,
We are Joshua
