How Being Good Creates All Of Your Worst Problems
You are good. Let’s start there. Let’s end there. Now that we have stated that fact, let’s examine why you are still trying to be good and how this causes all of your worst problems.
On the day you were born, you were good. In fact, you were perfect. Have you become less perfect in any way? Certainly not. You are perfect now just as you were perfect then. However, as a baby, your behavior could not activate the limiting beliefs of others. As you grew older, your behavior caused fear in others. They feared for your safety and they feared for your future. They feared how others might perceive you and they feared how your behavior would reflect on them. They chose to modify your behavior in order to alleviate their fears.
Your parents believed that your behavior caused the negative emotion that they were feeling. They did not realize that it was their own limiting beliefs that were triggered by certain things you did. If you received high marks at school, their fears were eased and they felt relief. They liked this feeling and so they praised you in order to modify your behavior so that you would continue to work hard and get good grades.
If you did anything that triggered a limiting belief, such as not eat your vegetables, they would withhold love. When you ate your vegetables, they would praise you. They played this game of restricting and allowing love all day long, every single day of your life. Soon you learned that in order to receive love, you must be “good.” But there is no such thing as good and bad. Those ideas are subjective. They were never asking you to be good. They were asking you to behave in a way that would make them feel positive emotion. They were telling you that in order to receive their love (acceptance) you must avoid any behavior that might trigger their limiting beliefs and activate some fear and negative emotion. How they felt was dependent on how you behaved.
You played the game right along with them. If they are alive, you might still play that game. You behave in a way they like in order to get what you want; love. And you punish them by purposely behaving in a way that you know will cause them to feel negative emotion. You are good when you want love and you are bad when you want something else.
You did not come here to be loved. You did not come here to prove that you are good. You came to express your love to others and to accept them as they are without asking them to be different than they are. You came to be the fullest and most authentic version of yourself. You can now opt out of that game and simply express your love and acceptance. Who you really are is a magnificent and limitless being of pure positive love and acceptance. Who you are being is someone trying to be good in order to be loved. This is the cause of all of your worst problems.
If you are good, you expect to be loved. That is the limiting belief that you adopted in your youth. It is one of the most limiting of beliefs, because it causes you to act in a way that is not authentic in order to manipulate the conditions so that you feel loved. However, since you are the embodiment of love itself, you cannot derive this or any other feeling from the outside conditions unless you reverse that idea. You must express your love to others without any need to receive love from them. You must adhere to the principle that they can only express their love to you in their own way and that way is perfect. You cannot ask them to be different so that you can feel better. That’s what your parents (and others) did to you. You certainly do not want to play this game with your own children.
Here’s how this approach to being good causes all of your worst problems. Your limiting belief is “If I am good, then I will receive love.” So, when you are good and you do not receive love, you must consider that there is some other reason you are not receiving love. If you are good and you are not receiving love, then there is something wrong with you. That idea in itself is attractive and powerful and it must manifest into your reality.
If I am good and I am not receiving love, it must be because I am overweight. If I am being good and I am not receiving love, it must be because of this chronic medical condition. It must be due to my drinking problem. It must be because I am not intelligent. It must be because I no longer enjoy sex. It must be because I work too hard. It must be because I worry too much. It must be because I never want to do anything. It must be because I had a bad childhood. It must be because I was sexually abused. It must be because…fill in the blank.
If you are trying to be loved and you are not receiving the love you think you need, you will create a reason. That reason will be your worst problem.
With our love,
We are Joshua