Astrid – Septeber 23, 2016

Hi Joshua,
I am stuck on the thought that I hurt other people. I know on some logical level that we are all responsible for our own feelings, but I still restrain myself in what I say and do because I am so worried that I will be the cause of other people feeling bad. I know their reaction to me is based more around themselves and their beliefs than on my actions, but I still feel a huge amount of pain when I think about how I could hurt them if I say the wrong thing.
It is extremely painful to me and very limiting as this fear is strong in all my interactions, from the postman to my friends and family. I worry about this before every encounter, during and especially after I meet them. It is just so hard to accept that I might be causing pain, I don’t want to do that! I tell myself I am just a tool for the Universe to help them see their own limiting beliefs but is that really true? My feelings around this seem to live their own life even if I tell myself I am overreacting.
Is this just a matter of repeating and learning a new way to think about how my action cannot hurt other people? Is it always our own fault when we feel bad? I was also wondering if there is a certain energy transferred in your answers to me? I always feel better just reading it, even if the subject might not be resolved.
Thank you!
Astrid

Dear Astrid,
You are absolutely right. You have nothing to fear about causing someone else pain by saying something that might be upsetting. If you said it, the other person needed to hear it. You would not say it if it wasn’t needed. We are all tools of the universe. You could not be talking to us now if you did not need to hear what we have to say. We are a tool of the universe and so are you. We are inspired to say things and so are you. If we were to say something and that caused you pain, it would be due to the fact that you are thinking about our words in a way that is not aligned with who you really are or what you really want.
You have an inner guidance system. When you hear praise, you feel good because your perspective is fully aligned with your inner self’s perspective. You feel good about yourself and your inner self feels good about you as well. When you hear criticism and you feel negative emotion, the emotion is telling you that you are looking at yourself from a perspective that is limiting. Your inner self is looking at you as who you really are and so the two perspectives do not match. That’s why you feel negative emotion. Once you accept this and choose a higher perspective, you’ll feel better.
You can only have hurt feelings if your persona is attacked. Over the years, starting as a child, you developed a persona. It is your idea of who you are, however it is completely false. You might think you are attractive, intelligent, loving, caring, respectable, honest, fun to be around, and so on. This is all false. Of course you are these things and more, but these traits do not define you, they limit you. Who you really are is a limitless being of pure positive love and acceptance. Nothing is higher than that. You limit yourself by believing that your personality defines you.
If you think you are intelligent and someone questions your intelligence, you feel negative emotion and your feelings get hurt. Who cares what they think? Nothing defines you because you are a limitless being of pure positive love. That’s who you really are. Would a being of pure positive love and acceptance care if someone thought they were not intelligent? Of course not. They would accept their statement with love and move on.
If you say something that hurts another, it is simply because they are attached to some false aspect of themselves. The negative emotion is really fear. They are fearful that something they believe about themselves, which they think defines them, is not true. Of course it isn’t true, yet this fact is scary to some people. It is held in place by a limiting belief and that belief must be shattered for them to receive that which they want. It is simply not possible for you to say or do anything wrong. All situations are set up in advance. Nothing is random. There are no accidents. If you are there, you are meant to be there. If you say something, you are meant to say it. If they receive it badly, they have a limiting belief that must be challenged. You quite literally do them a disservice by not saying something you are inspired to say. If you said it, they needed to hear it. If they choose to make you wrong for saying it, then they are simply resisting the very important message you have to offer.
There is no wrong anywhere in the universe and it is not possible for you to be wrong either.
With all our love,
We are Joshua

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